I Discovered I Have A Daughter I Never Knew About, Thanks To DNA Testing

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“On April 7th, a few weeks after quarantine started, I received a message on Facebook from a young woman named Alexandra Lovett. We had no friends in common. I typically delete these messages and friend requests, but this time, I didn’t. Turns out she was notifying me that through her Ancestry DNA test, we had a Parent/Child match!!! She told me, ‘I am your daughter and I have been looking for you my whole life!!!’

WHAT?!?! I had NO IDEA I had a child! I’m a gay man, and my husband and I have been together almost 20 years now. I couldn’t imagine how this could even be possible. She mentioned that in ’86, her mother and I had a very drunken one night stand. She only knew my first name and she never saw me again as she moved to live with her mother to have…OUR child!

I was 22 and drank a lot in those days; I’ve been drug and alcohol-free for more than 25 years now. Blackouts were not too uncommon. BUT I was gay. I do not have memory of this encounter, but the details add up. We actually met on the dance floor in a gay club. The resemblance with this amazing young woman was already so clear. It was on my Ancestry DNA matches on the very top of the page, even above my sister. Once I saw it, I looked in disbelief and clicked anywhere I saw I could. It said Parent/Child Match. Probability 100%!!!

Can you imagine my shock?

Courtesy of Wolf Martinez

I called immediately. I still had questions. I was in shock for sure! We had a FaceTime call; I asked my husband to be there with me. She said, ‘I have been looking for you my whole life, Papa, and I get two dads for the price of one!!’ She also mentioned in that first call her last name translates to mean ‘Little Wolf.’ My first name is Wolf! That’s when I almost dropped the phone. (LOL!)

My daughter Alex and I have spent most everyday since meeting on FaceTime, phone, texting, and getting to know each other. It took a few weeks for the overwhelming shock to wear off, and it has been replaced with a feeling of love. My mind, heart, and spirit have been blown!

She came to meet us in Santa Fe, NM from Oregon. We had an AMAZING week together. I’m originally from Denver, so we also drove to Denver to meet my mom, her grandma, her auntie, my sister, and several dear friends and cousins over the course of a few gatherings almost everyday she was here. She handled it all so incredibly well. So down to earth — I’m so impressed!

This is my mom’s first grandchild! Although my brother, sister, and I were clearly not going to have children, my mom never stopped mentioning she wished she were a Grandma. Well, her wish came true! I come from a very loving family and Alex was welcomed with many gifts and open arms. And a lot of food, too!

Courtesy of Wolf Martinez
Courtesy of Wolf Martinez

It has changed both our lives, needless to say. In her initial contact message, she said she understands I had no idea of her existence, and this would be shocking and life changing news. She said, ‘I understand if you need some time. I’m an adult and don’t need anything. I just want to know my dad.’

She is so incredibly beautiful, inside and out! Really!!! SO BEAUTIFUL!!!”

Courtesy of Wolf Martinez

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Wolf Martinez. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here.

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