“Today I stepped outside my house and sat on my front lawn for the first time in several weeks – since this whole thing started. I had originally left my house to take my package upstairs to my bedroom. But when I caught a breath of the fresh, sweet air, I was once reminded just how much that can do for stress and anxiety.
So what did I do? I sat down. On the ground. In the grass on my front lawn in my pajamas. I didn’t care what I looked like. I didn’t care that I hadn’t showered in 3 days and the skin on my face was scabbed from picking at it during bouts of anxiety. After all, who would be watching if we’re all stuck inside our homes?
As I soaked up the sun and the feeling of the wind against my skin, I felt peace for the first time in a while. I basked in the quiet of not having two littles noisily roaming around, for just a moment. And then it happened.
Someone drove by in their car, speeding before halting to a full stop, and shouted at me from the top of their lungs. They said to me, ‘GET THE F— BACK IN YOUR HOUSE. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. YOU’RE THE REASON PEOPLE ARE DYING.’ For sitting. on. my. own. lawn. ALONE. They flipped me off, got back inside their car, and sped off.
That little sliver of peace I felt? Gone. Completely ripped away.
What this person didn’t see:
I haven’t kissed or hugged my husband who works on the frontlines as a nurse in weeks.
Every night, I have to reassure my five-year-old that daddy will be okay and no, he’s not going to die. And what they don’t know is that, when the lights go out, I worry about the same thing.
I already battle depression and anxiety, and this whole pandemic has only made it much, much worse.
So there I was, sitting on my front lawn, instantly sobbing because someone decided to lash out on me as if I had committed some sort of crime for breathing air.
If you’re reading this, please educate yourself and understand the difference between what is safe and what isn’t. What is breaking community safety guidelines, and what isn’t. And please, please have some grace for others out there. You never know what others are going through.
Let us be kind. That is what brings us all together.”
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