‘Will he text me back?!’ I found myself jealous of my single friend. The butterflies, first-date jitters? I miss that.’: Woman claims marital ‘intimacy’ takes on new meaning over time, ‘I feel a type of love I’ve never known’

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“My single friend was telling me a while back about how she went on a date. She was waiting for him to text her, and she was all nervous and excited.

For a moment, I found myself feeling jealous.

I missed that feeling. That nervousness. That ‘is he going to text me back?’ All of those first date jitters.

Instead, I came back home to my kids not listening, my kitchen a mess, and my husband asking, ‘I thought you were going to be back twenty minutes ago?’ I rolled my eyes at him, and walked to our room and sat on the bed, with laundry folded around me. I sat there thinking, ‘I miss those first dates. I miss that feeling of nervousness,’ before I got up and walked back out to the living room.

After I cleaned up the living room a little and put our kids to bed, I looked around at the messy kitchen that had grown over the day. I grabbed some soap and started scrubbing. I started to think of my friend, on her first date, and how happy she seemed.

I was jealous.

As the hot water hit the pan I was washing, I felt two arms wrap around my stomach and pull me in. My husband kissed my neck and said, ‘After the place is clean, I’ll go get some snacks and we’ll watch a movie.’ I cracked a smile and said, ‘Okay.’

After I finished the dishes, my husband returned home with my favorite snacks.

I sat down on our couch and looked at what he had picked out for me to eat. I looked at him and said, ‘Wow, you know me so well!’

I told him before we started a movie that I wanted to shower, as I had been busy most of the day and I didn’t smell the greatest. I told him to pick a movie and that I would be back in fifteen minutes.

After my shower, I walked out and saw that he had chosen Friends. I looked at him and said, ‘You don’t even watch Friends anymore. Why is this on? I thought you wanted a movie?’ He looked at me and said, ‘This show makes you laugh, and I can tell you need to laugh tonight.’

I sat down beside him as I ate my favorite junk food that he picked out. He wrapped his arm around me as we watched the same show I’ve made him watch a million times.

As we sat there, with our kids snoring down the hall, and toys laying all over the hardwood floor, I realized I liked this feeling way better.

We have known each other for so long that we stopped feeling those butterflies, those first date feelings. But I realized, that’s okay. Because those feelings get replaced with much stronger feelings.

The first date jitters are replaced with the security of knowing you’re with your best friend, forever.

The butterflies of going out for dinner are replaced with take out and messy kitchens, but also your best friend knowing you so well that he can pick out all of your favorite snacks.

Those hours of intimacy, where it’s just you two, are replaced with your kids knocking on the door, yelling to be let in.

Those feelings do go away, or they don’t come up as often as the years go on, but sometimes, all it takes is your husband knowing your favorite food and picking out your favorite show for you to realize that the love is still there. The butterflies are still there.

So, I may not feel those first date butterflies as much anymore, but I feel a type of love I have never known.

I like this feeling way more.”

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Courtesy of Caitlin Fladager

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Caitlin Fladager. You can follow her journey on Facebook and InstagramSubmit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Caitlin:

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