“She cries and tears flood her face.
She mumbles through broken sobs, ‘He doesn’t love me anymore. He isn’t the man he used to be. I am lonely and have lost the man I loved.’
The therapist looks at him. He is staring at the floor. ‘Well?’ she asks, ‘what do you feel when she cries?’
‘Not much,’ he replies.
The therapist leans in, ‘Look at her face. Tell me what you see, tell me what you feel. Ignore what your mind tells you, and listen to your heart.’
‘Like I’m waiting,’ he replies.
‘Waiting for what? Something bad?’ the therapist asks.
‘She is crying because she is mad at me. I am not the person she wants me to be. I am not what she expects. I can’t get it right.’
The therapist asks, ‘So you feel threatened?’
‘Do you think you’re too caught in the possibility of a loss? Too caught up in what you think she wants, you can’t hear what she needs? Too worried about letting her down? Too distracted with your own inner demons?’
She tells her she needs him, in criticism and anger. Her cry for loneliness drips in disdain, and he only hears the disappointment, the resentment. He doesn’t hear the vulnerability.
The more he loves her though, the more he only hears anger. He doesn’t hear the pain, the fear.
The more she loves him, the more she will use her voice in anger. The more she will use it in disdain.
They miss what their hearts are telling each other.
Lack of empathy kills relationships. Look past your mind and open your heart. So you can both find each other’s again and again.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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