‘I’ve ghosted men, cancelled dates, and backed out of becoming official because it didn’t feel right. I’m done apologizing.’: Single mom says ‘settling is something I’ll never do again’

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“I’ve fallen in love with being a single mom, though I really struggle making room for anyone who wants to take care of me or love me.

But I’m not apologizing for being that way.

When I was newly single, I remember it being really hard.

I hated the thought of not having the ‘picture-perfect family.’ My parents have been married for years and all their friends were HAPPILY MARRIED as well and had a bunch of kids to show for it, so it was a constant reminder of what I was missing.

But I adapted to my new ‘norm’ and I survived. I don’t remember the exact moment when everything just seemed okay or easy, but I remember no longer feeling bad for myself because I was single with a baby.

I got so used to doing everything by myself.

I was used to comforting myself during moments of sadness and used to being the only one I could count on, and sure enough…

What I feared the most became what I loved the most because I didn’t need anyone but myself to rely on.

When it comes to relationships or dating, I’m not ashamed to say I’ve ghosted men, ‘left them on read,’ canceled dates, and backed out of becoming official because it just didn’t feel right. I’ve done it all, but I’m not apologizing for it.

A relationship might look more stable, but I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happier or feel more loved. My heart is full enough with what I have.

It’s also important to know what you want and what you don’t…and settling is something I’ll never do again.

I’m content with it just being my son and I and the life we live. I take pride in doing everything by myself. It’s hard to imagine another person being a part of that, and I’m not sorry.

Don’t feel like you need to be in a relationship to feel better about yourself. A relationship can be a plus, but only when it adds to what you already have going for yourself.

Fellow single moms, take a step back and be proud of yourself for doing it all on your own. Appreciate the struggle…seriously.

It makes you a hell of a lot stronger and it will bring the right person to you in the future.


The single mom who’s not apologizing.”

Courtesy of Annie Hartigan

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Annie Hartigan, and originally appeared hereSubmit your own story here, and subscribe to our best stories in our free newsletter here.

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