‘I once knew a young, first-time foster mom. She was fearful, self-centered, and self-protective.’: Woman shares true meaning of being a foster mom

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“I once knew a young, first-time foster mom who was afraid to get to know any of the biological families attached to her kids.

She had a good heart but her fear was self-centered and self-protective.

She was worried about how to manage behaviors of the kids after visits, what would happen if the kids were more attached to the family than her and how that would affect their ability to function when the visit was over, how the family would view her, and how to navigate tricky emotionally complicated dynamics.

We spent months talking it through before she was finally able to take the step, hesitantly, dodging insecurity every step of the way.

It wasn’t pretty or easy, but she did it.

Foster mom sits on the couch while child rests their head in her lap.
Courtesy of Rin Miller

What she found was phenomenal, beautiful, bridging, building, and family.

Looking back she wishes it hadn’t taken that long and hates the opportunities lost because of her triggers.

This mom is learning from her mistakes and growing more every day, with every kid and every case. She’s learning what it means to be a mom to kids in foster care, and wants to tell you to please not withhold your children’s family from them out of your fear and issues.

She wants you to do better than that and learn from her mistakes.

Hi, it’s me. I’m that mom.”

Foster mom hugs her child.
Courtesy of Rin Miller

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Rin Miller. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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