‘We’re here for you.’ Foster care isn’t all broken or messy.’: Foster mom reflects on the beauty of foster care, ‘It’s not all hard’

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“After being foster parents for 4 years, caring for 4 unrelated children with very different cases, I have to say it’s not all hard.

There is so much good. It’s not all broken or messy. There is a lot of beautiful. A lot of love and so much laughter. The sweet moments have a way of sweeping the bad right up.

Watching my [foster] son run to his mom and wrap his arms tightly around her;

hearing my [adopted] son pray for his [bio] parents to get better;

to be able to share milestones of our [foster] baby with his mom,

these moments are priceless, heartbreaking, and beautiful.

Sometimes it’s so easy to forget they aren’t ours. That this is temporary. That I am rooting and fighting for them to leave me and for my heart to be ripped apart.

It’s so easy to forget about our life before them. So easy to just live life as if they have always been here and always will be.

Bio parents are not bad people. Most are loving, kind, and fighting hard for their children.

And those few who aren’t, well, I believe they still love their children and are fighting their own battles. Battles that are overwhelming, battles I can only imagine.

In these cases, I will tell their children they are loved, tell them they are wanted, and pray with them one day we can see and spend time with their parents together.

These children are beyond precious, beyond loved, beyond wanted.

We are filled with gratitude. Thankful to be dad and mom to those in our home for as long as we are needed.

We will continue to stand in the in-between for these families.

To be a safe, loving, temporary home.

To look bio parents in the eyes and say, ‘We’re here for you.’ The bond we share with them in loving the same child is greater and more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

While it’s easy to forget they’re not mine, that I haven’t always been their mom, I will never forget or disrespect the ones who gave them life.

Foster care at its best and truest, is temporary, and I will fight for that with every fiber of my being whenever safe and possible.

I will fight, for my children, for their parents, and for our blended families.”

A foster child wearing a plaid shirt picks at his fingernails
Courtesy of Katie Day

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Katie Day from Binghamton, NY. You can follow their journey on Instagram and Facebook. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Katie here:

‘Did he think we abandoned him?’ I was still grieving. He hardly slept day or night. I struggled to feel connection.’: Couple foster to adopt, ‘If you don’t get attached, you’re doing it wrong’

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‘I don’t think my heart can handle this.’ There was a newborn who needed a home. ‘If not me, then who?’: Family opens ‘hearts and home’ to foster care during pandemic

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