‘I haven’t done any homeschooling. Today, we will do nothing. We won’t go anywhere, and I’ll let them watch TV while eating kraft dinner.’: Mom assures ‘it’s okay to feel like you’re going crazy’

“We haven’t done much since COVID-19 made its way to our city.

I haven’t done any homeschooling, I make them pb&j most days. I have about ten anxiety attacks a day, and I lose my patience a lot.

But that’s okay.

This is all new for me. For my kids, for us.

I try to at least take the kids for a daily walk or car ride, but to see masks and gloves worn by so many, scares me.

To see tents set up to test people, where I used to walk by normally, scares me.

To wake up everyday to read how many more people have died, and/or been diagnosed, scares me.

To see restaurants that used to be packed with people, now empty, scares me.

To see the playgrounds, where my kids used to spend hours, taped off, scares me.

To hear my daughter say ‘mommy when will everything be normal again?’ and me not having an answer, scares me.

I’m scared right now.

To be honest, I’m terrified.

So today, we will do nothing.
We won’t go anywhere, and I will let them watch TV while eating kraft dinner.

Today I will remind myself it’s okay to break down and have a moment to be scared.

It’s okay to feel powerless and overwhelmed.

So, we will do nothing, and I will tell myself over and over, that it’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to feel like I’m going crazy right now.

I will tell myself until I believe it.

It’s okay to do nothing.

It’s okay to be scared.

It’s okay to feel like you’re going crazy.

I will get through this.

We will get through this.

Do nothing, make your kids kraft dinner, and cry if you need to.

Everything we are feeling right now, is okay.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Caitlin Fladager, and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

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