“This is just another picture of a stethoscope and a coffee cup, right?
Wrong. This isn’t JUST another picture of a stethoscope and a coffee cup. This is a picture of all of the good things I wanted from my divorce.
This is co-parenting. This is co-humaning. This is my ex-husband’s new wife, Tiffaney, showing up and showing out. Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) has altered our lives as we know it. We’ve had to communicate more than ever. We’ve had to be flexible, help one another, and love one another.
By loving Jase and Jack’s daddy, she is by default choosing to love them. And boy, does she do that. She spoils them. Sometimes they care more about telling Tiff goodnight then Daddy. She plans super fun things for them. Her mom and dad, ‘Granny and Paps,’ treat these babies like their own. Jack comes home from a visit to Prestonsburg and talks ALL about Paps vehicles and Granny’s ‘nuggles’ (snuggling).
When I drop the ball, there’s back up, and let me tell y’all, she never forgets the details. COVID was already infiltrating my day-to-day when I realized I didn’t buy anything green for them to wear on St Patrick’s Day. I didn’t even know it was St. Patrick’s Day… but Tiffaney had them covered. Crazy hair day for Dr. Seuss week, outfits for their Valentine’s Party at school — these are just recent examples of the hundreds of things she does for them. She’s held my sick babies. She’s mom-armed them before they walk into traffic. By choosing their daddy, she also chooses them. Any normal decent adult human would love them. They’re impossible NOT to love.
This love is one of the good things I wanted after realizing that divorce was inevitable. These two little humans are better because there are more people who love them. Do any of us procreate with the thought of eventually raising our children in two separate homes? Of course not. But if by chance you do end up in that situation, it’s okay, in fact, it’s more than ideal, to love one another.
How could she love her husband’s ex-wife? What a foreign concept. Jesus tells us to ‘love one another.’ No exceptions. Love one another. Tiffaney chooses every single day to love my children. By an extension of them, she chooses to be kind (dare I say, ‘love’) me. She picks thoughtful gifts for the boys to give to me. Because when you’re a single mom, people don’t often think your toddler doesn’t know how to do Mother’s Day or Christmas. She’s been supportive. She’s been kind. Today, when she dropped off the boys, she brought coffee. I worked last night and again tonight. 72 hours last week, 60 this week, and 72 next week. Both ICUs where I’m a nurse are busy preparing for unknowns.
We both know — assume — there will be a time in the near future I’m quarantined from the boys. The magnitude of this is not lost on us. My heart will be shattered and the selfish parts of me will miss them. But they will be okay. Tiffaney (and Jamie) have this covered. Jase and Jack will have no idea everything is not exactly how it should be.”
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