‘My kids and dog eat first. My kids get a bath every night, I don’t. I spend a good portion of my night getting both children to bed before I get ‘me’ time.’: Mom says ‘you have the right to do less’

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“Yesterday afternoon, I had my first virtual therapy session. I’ve been in therapy in the past, but it’s been a long time since then. 

The aftermath and current state of the pandemic have been pressing on my chest like an anchor holding tight to shore.  

Those first three months of quarantine broke me as a human being. I cried almost every day for weeks. My boys missed their birthday celebrations with family and friends. We weren’t seeing anyone, not even our neighbors. For three months, we sacrificed being around the people we loved the most.  

After 3 months, we saw the effects isolation had on our children and us, and we decided to see close friends and family. It helped tremendously, but the damage was already done. 

My 6-year-old’s anxious and obsessive traits are now amplified. We are currently working with a professional to help ease his worries.  

My anxiousness comes and goes. There are days that I am a Rockstar of a human being and mother. Then there are days I don’t remember if I brushed my hair because I can’t focus on anything except being overwhelmed.  

Speaking to my therapist yesterday, I was able to unleash my worries, my pain, and talk about ‘me.’ 

‘Me,’ the person I put last in everything.  

My kids and dog eat first. 

My kids get a bath every night, I don’t. 

I spend a good portion of my night getting both children to bed before I get ‘me’ time. 

Talking about ‘me’ and knowing that my feelings are valid helped bring me to a better place mentally.  

I’m not sure how long it will last, but I’m going to try my best to be the best ‘me’ I can be.  

I have to come out strong.  

I want to remain the glue to this family. It’s important to me.  

I can’t do that without getting myself the necessary help I NEED. 

At the end of my therapy session, my therapist read me a list. That list is called ‘Basic Assertive Rights.’ These are our basic rights as human beings.  

The one that struck a chord the most was, ‘I have the right to do less than I am humanly capable of doing.‘  

Sometimes I feel so much guilt letting others down and feel like I MUST do it all. The truth is, I don’t and that is OK. 

So, my lesson for you today is you have the right to do less and it’s OK because you’re human.” 

Courtesy of Holly Dignen

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Holly Dignen. You can follow her journey on Instagram and Facebook Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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