‘Oh wow, three boys! Are you trying for a fourth to get a daughter?’ Strangers ask me this on a regular basis. I always stop and ask myself, ‘Why?’: Boy mom says ‘I wouldn’t change a thing’

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“’Oh wow, three boys! So, are you going to try for a fourth to get a daughter?’ 

Strangers make statements like this to me on a regular basis. It always makes me stop and ask myself why people assume this. Why do we need a daughter to complete our family? Aren’t our three boys enough? Are boys somehow less desirable than girls? 

Well, the short answer is – no. I don’t need a daughter to feel like our family is complete. 

I’m not saying that because I think one gender is better than the other. They are equal in my eyes. I just know that our family feels complete with the three kids we have, regardless of their gender. I’m sure those of you that have all daughters get asked the same thing. ‘Are you going to try for a son, so your husband can have his boy?’ 

Please don’t assume. 

I think our society assumes all women have this innate need to have a daughter, or men to have a son, to look and act just like them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that would have been fun. If you knew me growing up, you would know I was a stereotypical girly-girl. I was a dancer, on the varsity pom-pom team, into fashion, and completely boy-obsessed. So, I always imagined I would have a daughter. However, when we were in the hospital getting our 20-week sonogram, hoping for a baby girl was honestly the last thing on my mind. I was just praying for a healthy and happy BABY. 

Courtesy of Steffanie Marshall

If you know my history with pregnancy, you’ll know we’ve been through more than most to get where we are today. I could not be more blessed to have not one but three amazing sons. 

I knew when I married my husband that there would be a good chance I would become a boy mom. On my husband’s side of the family, there is a long line of men having boys. My father-in-law had two boys, his brother also had two boys, and my brother-in-law has three boys. I’m telling you, these Marshall men must only carry the Y chromosome.   

Some may think I may be missing out on typical mommy and daughter outings like manicures, trips to the American Girl store, and picking out the perfect prom dress. I know I’ll never be the mother of the bride. And my husband will never walk his daughter down the aisle. However, I can assure you, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I’ll be the loudest cheerleader on the sidelines at my son’s baseball games. I’ll take them on trips to the LEGO store and help them pick out the perfect tuxedo for their wedding. And on their wedding day, I’ll beam with pride knowing I taught them how to be the most loving and supportive husband and father one could ask for.

I love being a boy mom.

My days are filled with tripping over Matchbox cars, breaking up wrestling matches, searching for big sticks, laughing at poop jokes, and talking about sports. Being a mom of all boys has been more fun than I could’ve ever imagined. Who knew I would be their favorite person on planet earth? My boys love me fiercely. I am their favorite cuddle partner, boo-boo kisser, hand-holder, and tear-wiper. They look at me like the sun rises and sets in my eyes.

I know there are some people out there who really do have a burning desire to have a specific gender child. And that is completely fine. But I know, without a doubt, my three sons are enough for me. I’m happy with the cards I’ve been dealt with, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Photo by Kristin Greenwald Photography

If you have multiple children of the same gender, do you get the same comments?

Do you feel like you need one more child of the opposite gender to complete your family?

On most days I feel like our family is complete. Just the five of us, well, six, including our fur baby. But on those days when I dream of being pregnant again and holding another baby in my arms, I don’t picture a daughter. I picture a BABY. 

Photo by Kristin Greenwald Photography

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Steffanie Marshall, and originally appeared here. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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