“One Christmas when I was a single mom, I decided to sell all of the designer bags I’d worked my ass off to buy for myself on eBay in order to purchase gifts for my kid.
With not a clue what I was doing, I shipped everything packaged the wrong way. Everyone complained their stuff arrived squished. I issued refunds…to every single buyer.
Only now, years later, can I laugh about the fact that in effort to MAKE money, I actually ended up paying to mail free designer purses to strangers all over the world.
Maybe you’re in the thick of it right now.
You may think the entire world is out to get you.
I won’t diminish your feelings, but I WILL tell you my son definitely didn’t receive what he wanted that Christmas and I’m the only one of the two of us who remembers.
It took me YEARS to get over what a f–k up I was to make such a foolish mistake and cost him the Christmas of his dreams…yet HE was fine.
We decorated a plastic tree in our PJs and ate too many cookies and THAT is all he remembers.
Every year since, I’d find a solo moment (typically in the shower) to shake my fist at the sky and curse the fact I dispersed nicer gifts than Santa to a bunch of strangers with my cherished possessions I’d worked so hard for…until this year.
The other day I asked my son what he recalled about that holiday and it was cookies. Cookies and a drive thru light display.
He was in no way negatively impacted.
All these years I’ve held on to this grudge with myself. I’ve poisoned myself with anger.
This is the year I forgive and let go.
You may not be able to see an end to your struggle right now and you don’t have to.
You just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and I have faith tone day you’ll find a laugh, as twisted as it may be, in your pain…and that’s when the healing begins.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Deena Lang of South Florida and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, and her website. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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