‘I didn’t know it would be this hard. I feel like a failure on a daily basis. I give my all, and constantly wonder if it’s enough.’: Mom says ‘this is the most important job I’ll ever have’

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“I didn’t know.

I didn’t know it would be this hard.

That I’d be this tired.

That I’d get so frustrated.

That I’d cry this much.

That I’d feel like a failure on a daily basis.

That I’d give my all and constantly wonder if it’s enough.

That I’d do all the things I said I’d never do.

That I’d question myself all the time.

That I’d make so many mistakes.

But I didn’t know.

I didn’t know I could love like this.

That I could function on so little sleep.

That I could be this patient.

That my heart would break each and every time yours does.

That I’d be so afraid of failing because I know raising you is the most important job I’ll ever have.

That, despite your protests, I’d stick to my guns on the important stuff.

That I could happily leave a sink full of dishes unwashed and the floor unswept to play a game of hide and seek.

That when I mess up, my apologies would become an unforgettable lesson in grace and forgiveness for us both.

Because I didn’t know.

Before you, I thought I knew.

But I didn’t.

Not even close.

And I’m still learning.

Every day.

Every hour.

Every minute.

And there’s nothing more beautiful—more humbling, more breathtaking—than learning to be your mama.”

Courtesy of Krista Ward

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Krista Ward of Kisses From Boys. You can follow her journey on InstagramSubmit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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