‘I hit bottom. Knees to the ground, ugly tears in the shower. My friends stepped in. They didn’t ask what I needed because honestly, I’m in so deep I have no idea what I need.’

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“Two days ago, I hit bottom; like knees to the ground and ugly tears in the shower. We have three new foster children (siblings) and the trenches of trauma and grief are deep. We have had…

3 ear infections
5 cases of pink eye
1 case of periocular cellulitis, which required three trips an hour away for deep thigh injections on an already traumatized foster child. 
A flat tire
Lots of poop 
And extreme sleep deprivation.

So, here’s where I get honest. My friends stepped in. They didn’t ask me what I needed because honestly, I’m in so deep I have no idea what I even need. 

I decided to list the things they did, because I feel like I can see the light of day and I’m no longer sobbing in the shower. I think this list may help us to truly help. 

So, if you know of a family that gets new placements or brings home a newly adopted child, do this:

  • Call and tell them to leave their laundry on the porch and you will pick it up and return it. 
  • Take them dinner or drop off a pizza and box of diapers. 
  • Ask to take some of their older children to do something fun. 
  • Find out the children’s sizes and help round up essentials (foster children generally come with the clothes on their back)
  • Come over and clean their house. 
  • Take down their Christmas lights. 
  • Call and ask them what they need from the store or see if they need an errand run.
  • Just use your talents. A fellow foster mama swung by my house and took the newborn to go do a newborn photo shoot at her studio. (Pictures that become priceless as they grow)

This week my village stepped into the trenches and sat with me. They didn’t ask me what I needed, they just started providing.

It truly takes a village, and I’m so grateful for mine.”

Husband and wife stand outside with their two biological kids and four foster kids who are siblings
Stacey Jackson Gagnon

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Stacey Jackson Gagnon. Visit here website hereSubmit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.

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