“I saw an Instagram Reel about a woman being asked if she was going to have more kids. With every question she was asked, she stated, ‘I can’t afford to lose me again.’
Hearing, ‘I can’t afford to lose me again’ hit HARD.
With our first son, I experienced postpartum depression and anxiety, along with some postpartum rage. I was diagnosed with it at six months postpartum.
Two years later, we had our second boy. Postpartum depression and rage hit me even harder than the first time, but went undiagnosed. My patience wears thin with having a baby who’s usually always fussy while a 2-year-old is clinging to me and wanting attention.
Some days, I want to cry because of the sleepless nights and stress of household chores that come with being a stay-at-home mom.
Sometimes I do, and it’s okay. Some days I want to just escape for the day. Some days I just want a bottle of wine and a bubble bath.
And some days, I just want to not be a mom for a day. I am currently working through all my emotions and hope it slowly gets better. It’s a process that takes time.
ALL OF THAT IS NORMAL.
You always see comments about mothers who suffer from postpartum issues that read:
‘You need to appreciate having children.’
‘You need to be more understanding with your children.’
Or ‘Children need you.’
But you never see support for the mothers who are experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety, and rage.
Being a mother is hard, and made even harder when dealing with disorders. I knew being a mom wasn’t an easy task, but I also never thought I’d be the one to fall into postpartum disorders. I always thought I’d be the perfect mom, the happiest mom, and the fun mom.
A mother’s mental health matters.
Don’t feel guilty needing breaks.
Don’t feel guilty not wanting to be a mom for a day.
Don’t feel guilty for not wanting more kids.
Don’t feel guilty for not feeling like yourself, or being the so-called ‘best mom.’
Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kyleen Joan. You can follow her journey on Instagram and on her website. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
Read more stories like this:
SHARE this story to help other mom’s struggling with postpartum disorders.