‘My husband turned to me and said, ‘I have to poo.’ It’s like his ‘get out of jail free card.’ His way of saying, ‘I’m done here. You finish it.’: Fed up mom finally puts her foot down with husband’s lame excuse

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“It’s 8:30 a.m. in our household, and something has happened that needs documenting. 

At approximately 8:23 a.m., my husband started to make breakfast.

He put the bread in the toaster, the eggs on the stove… then turned to me and said, ‘I have to poo.’ 

This phrase usually requires no further explanation. 

It’s like his ‘get out of jail free card.’

It’s his way of saying, ‘I’m done here. You finish it.’ 

Since becoming a mother, I have never once used this excuse. Stopping midway through getting the children ready and using my ablutions as an excuse…

And believe me, my bowels have not been STRENGTHENED by childbirth. Oh no. Quite the opposite. Yet somehow, I am able to wait until such a time that is convenient to empty them.


But this morning I tried a different approach to tackling the parenting tactic my husband so expertly practices…

I told him ‘NO.’

So brilliant. Yet so simple. 

Usually I huff under my breath. 
Or call him useless. 
Or tell him to be quick. 

But today, I simply said ‘NO.’

And you know what? By some divine power, he actually managed to complete cooking breakfast, empty the dishwasher AND have a further conversation with me about the state of the roads in this country WITHOUT pooping his pants. Incredible, isn’t it?

Turns out it IS possible for dads to wait until the task in hand is completed before using the toilet after all. 

Go forth and do with that information what you will. 

You’re welcome.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kate Thornalley of Mrs. Mombastic. Follow Kate on Instagram hereThe article originally appeared here.  Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.

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