“When I hit rock bottom of my depression, I had a friend. My son had gone and played at her house earlier that day and he acted up, and for some reason, this is the moment that finally broke me. This was the moment where it all came flooding out. It’s hard to hide you’re drowning when water is gushing out onto the floor and everywhere around you…
I was horrified. I was embarrassed. I was sure she’d tell everyone. I was sure she’d never speak to me again. I was sure I was failing. I was sure God made a mistake when he made me, because I wasn’t fit to deal with this type of thing, and my word, why couldn’t I just hide it all like a normal person?
My friend could’ve ignored me. She could’ve hugged me and told me it was just a phase. She could’ve asked me if I was getting enough sleep. She could’ve brushed it off as a bad day.
But she didn’t. Instead she simply said, ‘Let’s go out tonight.’
And so, we went out. We had fun. We laughed. We talked. We propped our feet up on the chairs next to us and were just together.
No agenda. No awkwardness. Just two girls hanging out eating endless chips and salsa.
I am forever thankful for that friend. I am forever thankful for that night out.
It didn’t save me, but it did remind me I wasn’t alone. That I could and should make an appointment with a professional. That I wasn’t doomed. That I had somebody. That I was somebody…
It was my flotation device. She threw it out there into the water where I was flopping around and let me hang on…
If you’re out there struggling today – grab the lifesaver. Please accept help. It’s not weakness. It takes strength to pull yourself out of the water…
If you’re out there and you know somebody struggling – toss them the lifesaver. Take them out. Ask how they’re doing. Check on them. Make a phone call. Send a text. Listen for their response. Hold their hand. Stand next to them, so they have someone to lean on.
Be a friend. Be a sister. Be a daughter. Be a mother. Be a father. Be a cousin. Be a wife. Be a husband. Be a shoulder. Be there for them.
Be anything but silent…
You just never really know.”
Read more from Amy here:
‘I don’t fit in. They don’t really want me there. I wonder why I wasn’t invited. I walk up to a circle of people and don’t know whether to force my way in, or hang on the outside, twiddling my thumbs.’
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