Please Don’t Judge Grieving Moms For Sharing Hospital Photos — Sometimes It’s All We Have

Disclaimer: This story contains details about child loss which may be triggering to some. 

“Let me tell you, there is nothing more strange and awkward than taking pictures of your baby in the hospital. At least, this was my experience.

I’m not talking about the adorable milestone and NICU graduate photos. I mean the baby-might-not-make-it-through-the-night, let-me-capture-one-more-moment-while-I-still-can photos.

Each moment was more horrifying than the last. One moment, it would look like things were improving, and the next it would all come crashing down. But with every new phase, we took pictures, even the ones that were hard to take.

People tend to judge what they don’t understand and to some, it seems odd we would be taking pictures of, or sharing these rough moments. I don’t write this to make anyone feel bad or uncomfortable, but in the hopes I can help more people understand.

For 5 of the 6 days of my son’s life, he was hooked up to hospital machines, and yes, it can be hard to look at. But if you look past the tubes and tape, you’ll see my beautiful baby boy. The hope is that every baby will make it out of the NICU/PICU. For some of us, that’s not the case.

As hard as it was to take pictures, I’m so glad we did. This was his life. This is his story.

Go easy on us grieving mamas. We would give anything to be sharing perfectly composed photos of healthy little babies in our homes next to letter boards, but sometimes, that’s not the way the story goes. Sometimes, this is all we have.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters  by Breinne Chavers of Ontario, CA. You can follow her journey on Instagram and on her website. Submit your own story  here, and be sure to  subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and  YouTube for our best videos.

Read about this mother’s beautiful way of capturing her miscarried baby:

‘I NEEDED this for my grieving process. It was the most incredible thing I’ve ever witnessed.’: Grieving mom uses saline bath to capture beautiful pictures of miscarried baby

Read Breinne’s full story here:

‘I’d lie on the bathroom floor and tell God I was ready; he could take me. I’ll never be fully healed.’: Mom loses 6-day-old son to rare metabolic disorder, shares reality of grief

‘I’m seeing something.’ My heart sank. This is it. I’ve lived a good life. She pointed to the screen. ‘That’s a yolk sac.’: Mom’s ovarian mass ultrasound turned surprise baby discovery

‘I’d choose a brain-damaged baby over a dead baby any day. People who act like I should be relieved hurt me deeply.’: Bereaved mom exposes stigma toward persons with disability

‘The hospital days don’t seem as horrific now. If I could relive them, I’d do it in a heartbeat.’: Grieving mom urges ‘soak up every single second’ after losing newborn

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