“I broke down last night.
All the thoughts and emotions came pouring out of me in a tearful episode on my bedroom floor.
As a parent of a child with a disability, I have to make difficult decisions more frequently than not.
But there is NOTHING that can prepare ANY parent to make the type of decisions we are all abruptly facing.
To weigh the pros and cons of our child’s health and safety AND the health and safety of everyone around them.
To send them to school or continue to teach them at home.
These decisions make me feel an unwavering amount of anxiety and guilt.
Decisions that seem wrong no matter what I choose to do.
What do you do when you have a child that doesn’t understand personal space let alone ‘social distance?’
What do you do when you have a child that explores the world around him by touching and feeling everything he sees?
What do you do when your child has a compromised immune system and gets sick easily?
What do you do when your child cannot and will not wear a face mask or shield?
What do you do when your child has difficulty communicating and needs to see your mouth for social cues and facial expressions?
What do you do when your child is part of the vulnerable population that is often forgotten about or overlooked?
The choices we are given surrounding school leave me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
I’m trying to stay strong but I’m tired.
I’m tired of being asked if we made a decision yet.
I’m tired of the unknown and unanswered questions.
I’m tired of worrying and losing sleep over it.
I am physically and emotionally drained from all of it.
Friends, if you’re feeling any of this, you are NOT alone.
I definitely don’t have the answers.
Or a magic wand to make this all go away.
But I do have hope.
I trust and believe we will make the best decision for our family just as you will for yours.
We are all doing the best we can in one of the most challenging times we’ve ever experienced.
Let’s remember to give each other grace and be kind to one another while we are trying to figure this out.
I’m praying for strength and guidance as we all navigate these difficult decisions and prepare for the road ahead.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Christina Abernethy of Love, Hope & Autism. Submit your own story here and besure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Christina here:
‘I notice the lump in my throat getting bigger. I fight back tears as my sons stare at me wide-eyed. I pray God will help me carry all this weight.’: Mom with anxiety urges ‘life is too short, throw in the towel’
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