‘Stop trying so hard with others who don’t make you feel right.’: Woman urges ‘find the friend who will walk with you through every season of life’

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“Find yourself that friend who will walk with you through your ugly.

And I mean all your ugly.

Like when you go through breakups, layoffs, and downgrade your life to an apartment in the basement of a crappy apartment complex.

Courtesy of @LisaCleary3

Or when you have surgeries, family health scares, fights, and can barely pay the bills.

Like when you say hateful things about people in the heat of the moment.

Find yourself that friend who will walk with you through your ugly.

And when you do, stop trying so hard with the others who only talk about themselves. Stop worrying about the ones who talk behind your back. Just stop it with people who don’t make you feel right.

When you find yourself that friend who will walk beside you, be that friend who prioritizes her.

Courtesy of @LisaCleary3

Ask her about the work project you assumed went well. Ask her about her boyfriend, even though you know he’s great because their cute photos flood your feed. Tell her when J. Crew is having a sale, even though she already splurged.

Show up just like she shows up for your ugly. Be that friend who reaches out when life is good, too. Cancel plans with acquaintances to get together with her — because shoot, you barely get to see her.

Be that friend who gives grace when she shows her ugly, too.

Courtesy of @LisaCleary3
Courtesy of @LisaCleary3

Because as we grow older, we have less time to give. So, let’s give it to the friends who walk with us through all seasons of life — and who are really worth our time.

And one day?

One day, if you’re lucky like me, time will build a friendship into a sisterhood you never thought possible.”

Courtesy of @LisaCleary3

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Lisa Cleary, a tough love self-help writer and author of How to Survive a Breakup: When all of your friends are birthing their second child. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Lisa here:

‘Dear mom, you’re never a bother. I love you, and what we have will always be special.’: Woman urges ‘tell your mom you love her’

‘Virtual happy hours, Facetime, Google Duo… There were always so many ways to take 5 minutes out of our day to show someone we love them, and we care.’: Woman says ‘this is a global reminder to speak with love at its fullest’

‘Here’s to being 30 and married!’ Everyone lifted their glasses in unison. I drove home in tears, 33 and single.’: Woman faces ‘stigma’ for being ‘unmarried and childless’

‘Yes, I set a date to lose my virginity. And I texted my mom and all my friends about it.’: Woman says we should be ‘proud of our own stories’ and never ‘push ourselves to meet mile markers’

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