“Find yourself that friend who will walk with you through your ugly.
And I mean all your ugly.
Like when you go through breakups, layoffs, and downgrade your life to an apartment in the basement of a crappy apartment complex.
Or when you have surgeries, family health scares, fights, and can barely pay the bills.
Like when you say hateful things about people in the heat of the moment.
Find yourself that friend who will walk with you through your ugly.
And when you do, stop trying so hard with the others who only talk about themselves. Stop worrying about the ones who talk behind your back. Just stop it with people who don’t make you feel right.
When you find yourself that friend who will walk beside you, be that friend who prioritizes her.
Ask her about the work project you assumed went well. Ask her about her boyfriend, even though you know he’s great because their cute photos flood your feed. Tell her when J. Crew is having a sale, even though she already splurged.
Show up just like she shows up for your ugly. Be that friend who reaches out when life is good, too. Cancel plans with acquaintances to get together with her — because shoot, you barely get to see her.
Be that friend who gives grace when she shows her ugly, too.
Because as we grow older, we have less time to give. So, let’s give it to the friends who walk with us through all seasons of life — and who are really worth our time.
And one day?
One day, if you’re lucky like me, time will build a friendship into a sisterhood you never thought possible.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Lisa Cleary, a tough love self-help writer and author of How to Survive a Breakup: When all of your friends are birthing their second child. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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