“My husband Corey and I have loved each other fiercely for 12 years. I met Corey my junior year of high school, his freshman year of college. Corey proposed and we married a year after I graduated high school. I mean when you know, you know! We knew we wanted children eventually, but we really wanted to spend the first few years of marriage growing and just loving each other.
We decided in 2016 that we were ready to start trying for a baby after we bought our first house. We were so excited at the possibility of what our child would look like. Would he/she have my big blue eyes, or my husband’s gorgeous brown eyes. Would they have my temperament, or Corey’s. We spent months thinking of baby names and decided that we would have children back to back, God willing. I was so ready to watch my husband be a dad. But after about 9 months of trying and no success, we went to my OB and started asking questions. It was heart breaking not understanding why our bodies were failing us while it seemed to be happening so easily for everyone around us.
My OB referred us to a fertility specialist and we started testing immediately. Procedure after procedure, test after test, we were diagnosed with infertility. I immediately started researching IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) and other ‘less invasive’ treatments to getting pregnant. On November 1st, 2016, we went in to to see our specialist so he could give us our options. I went in thinking we would start IUI and it would be okay because I would only have to do a few injections and some meds. I will never forget the moment when our doctor told us we had a .1% of conceiving naturally. He then told us that with IUI, we had a 1 in 24 chance it would even work. I sunk into the chair. I was terrified what his next response would be. In-Vitro Fertilization would be the only thing that would work if we wanted children via pregnancy. The one thing I had been so terrified of, would be the only way we could get pregnant.
My husband was so excited to start the process. He wanted to start immediately. So, we did, and I put on my bravest face. In December of 2016 we started our first cycle of IVF. Our protocol lasted about 6 weeks. Dozens of appointments, ultrasounds, blood drawls, and almost a hundred injections later we were ready for Egg Retrieval. An hour later I woke up and heard the news that we only retrieved 7 eggs. Each appointment I had at least 15-18 follicles, so what happened? I broke down in tears. After all that, only seven? I was a healthy 26 year old. I could not understand. We went home and processed, told our families, and prayed and prayed for our embryos. By day 3 of the fertilization process we had only 1 embryo left so we did a quick transfer and at that point I was PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise). We were so excited! For those short 2 weeks we were pregnant, FINALLY! Two weeks later on Valentine’s Day, I went in for a pregnancy test, and a few hours later we got the call. Our transfer had failed and our little baby never made it. We were devastated to say the least. Our specialist told us he thought our first cycle was a fluke and had complete faith that if we tried a different protocol we could have a successful round.
Fast forward to May of 2017, we started our second round of IVF. We had a short protocol with lots of injections. Every appointment my ovaries were doing what they were supposed to. We went in for egg retrieval and when I woke up from anesthesia, we had more disappointing news. Only 6 eggs retrieved. I knew then it would be a long shot but we still prayed and prayed. Five days later we got the call that none of our embryos had survived, so there would be no transfer, and our hopes of pregnancy was gone. I can tell you that those months were the longest and darkest days of my life. I told my husband that I could no longer put my body through grueling process of IVF. It was a hard decision but I knew putting that behind us and moving forward would be the best thing for our marriage and my body.
In the following months we traveled and took time to focus on our marriage again. We almost forgot what it felt like to have fun and not worry about being home by 7:00 for my nighttime injections. It was exactly what our hearts needed. A breather, and a break from trying to conceive. In October of 2017 we started going over our options again. The desire to be parents was still burning in both of our hearts. We knew that we could foster, foster to adopt, or pursue domestic infancy adoption. We decided financially that foster care would be our best option. We went in for eight hours of training on the effects of trauma for children in foster care. It was heartbreaking. I knew in my heart at that point that foster care would break me. We just weren’t emotionally ready for it yet. We started researching adoption and were immediately baffled at the cost. Adoption can cost nearly $20,000 to $60,000 dollars. I knew it would be a stretch and only God would be able to provide the funds for us, but I just knew in my heart this is where we were meant to be all along.
We signed with Christian Adoption Consultants in December of 2017 and got started on the home study process right away. We finally had a new hope and couldn’t wait to become parents through adoption. We became an active family on March 7, 2018, and started applying to agencies left and right. It was crazy, the amount of time we spent on paperwork was out of this world. I had paper cuts for DAYS! I had to buy a filing cabinet to keep up with everything. We started seeing expectant birth mom situations right away. It was so overwhelming, the whole process. I don’t think my heart was truly prepared for how heartbreaking and draining the whole process would be. In the next three months we presented to 8 expectant moms and they were all no’s. We were getting so discouraged but knew our mama was out there, so we prayed and waited for God’s timing to reveal itself.
On June 8th, after receiving our eighth no, our match coordinator with one of the agencies we were working with called and asked if we would be willing to present to a possible situation. They expectant mom was in labor but they had stopped itm and she was on bed rest. I couldn’t explain it, but I had an overwhelming feeling that she was our mom, and this was who we were waiting on. I had no fear and no anxiety about her. We asked that they show our book and we celebrated my 28th birthday the following day. The next day, On Sunday June 10th we got the call we had been waiting for, the best birthday gift ever. I will never forget the joy that came from the other line. Our match coordinator told me she picked us! I let out a loud cry and immediately the words, ‘I’M GOING TO BE A MOM’ poured out. My husband was in the other room and screamed ‘WHAT!!’ We sobbed for hours. We couldn’t believe it!
We waited a few hours, and started calling our families. We waited three years to be able to share good news! We had gone to bed that night praying that God would protect mom and baby and keep him in her belly as long as possible for both of their health. The next afternoon we received our match confirmation paperwork and all of the financial documents. We sat down and started to decompress and at 9:30 the call came from our social worker that our baby was going to be born that night. I panicked. It was too late to get a flight out of Oklahoma and we knew we would be facing a long NICU stay because he was 9 weeks premature. We packed a bag and decided to drive, 17 HOURS. To Utah!
The next day we got to meet our sweet baby. He was all of 3 pounds and perfect, and healthy. He had a few milestones to reach and needed to grow. We spent five long weeks in Utah and then we got to bring our baby home to Oklahoma. Miles Langston. He is every bit of what we prayed and hoped for! He has both of our temperaments good and bad (LOL), he has my bright big eyes, and Corey’s gorgeous brown eyes. He is our miracle, the baby that God had promised us. He is so much like the both of us, but at the same time nothing like us and it is so exciting!
Back in December after we signed with our adoption consultant agency, I had a dream that a biracial boy was calling me mama. December was the month Miles was conceived, also the month we had started our first round of IVF. God had planted the seed because he had a plan the whole time. We are so blessed to be Miles’ parents. Adoption has touched our hearts in ways we can’t explain. Please don’t lose hope, or sight of what God has planned for you. Our plans and timing may not have matched up with His, but He has given us more than we hoped and prayed for.
Miles’ adoption finalized on December 14th, 2018! We couldn’t be in front of the judge and courts in person because Utah isn’t a quick drive from Oklahoma, but we received our confirmation by email and my husband, and I hugged and sobbed. It was the greatest feeling ever. It’s unexplainable. We celebrated this momentous day with our closest friends and family. The people who have been our biggest supporters since we started our adoption journey. Miles is officially our son. Officially a Langston.
I write this in tears because some days the reality of being his mom hits me hard and I can’t believe that God and his first mama entrusted us with his life. 2018 has been a year full of blessings. We just celebrated our first Christmas and rang the new year in as a family of three. 2019 is going to full of so many more firsts for our family and I can’t wait to watch our sweet boy grow and flourish.”
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