‘My mom is a THEY, not a boy or a girl.’: Nonbinary parent celebrates Trans Day of Visibility

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“Dear ones, it’s Trans Day of Visibility.

A day so layered for me, visibility is something I work toward and fight for pretty hard, and then visibility is so dangerous for us, too. Being visibly trans in public is a risk every time you step outside.

But I am trans. And because I’m a single parent with a kid I get misgendered even more often, try forcing cis folks to accept that a trans person pushed a baby out of themselves. Their brains explode! But here I am, trans, with a baby who tells everybody, ‘My mom is a THEY, not a boy or a girl.’

So parenting groups, school gates, medical appointments—misgendered. Having the same argument over and over. Avoiding them because we’re treated as though the gay is contagious. And then queer events? I’ve had the chance to go to a gay club one time. Ever, in my life, because I had my baby at nineteen and live far from any family. I can’t get babysitting. I can’t go to protests or marches because they happen fast, in reaction to things, and I’m just alone with Eve.

So for me, lockdown is the most visibly trans I’ve probably ever been. I’ve been presenting to other people as trans because it is all online, where I have my pronouns in black and white or next to my name on a Zoom call. I have access to life drawing sessions, parties, organizing—because it is being held accessible for me. I have been less downtrodden by interacting with straight cis people in person and felt no need to squash who I am.

I dunno. Being trans is such a gorgeous thing and I’m sure so many other trans parents feel similar to me. I wish we were more visible to you all, in a safe way, and the world could be kinder. I wish you all a beautiful day and hope you grab some joy for yourselves, because being trans is a gift. We are Everything.


Courtesy of Jade
Courtesy of Jade

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jade. You can follow their journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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