“To the woman in Target walking by the baby clothes, softly touching everything you pass with your fingertips, but continuing to walk by without buying anything… I see you. I’ve done it just last week.
To the woman at the baby shower who slips into the bathroom to hold back the tears and walks back out with a smile on her face… I see you. I’ve avoided them because of it.
To the woman at the grocery store seeing the pregnant teenager, and the woman shopping midday with 5 kids in and around the cart, and thinking, ‘Why not me?!’… I see you. I’ve saw this woman and secretly despised her for it.
To the woman sitting in her car a little longer than necessary parked at the fertility clinic, before walking in for another appointment or treatment, because nothing good has happened there yet… I see you. I’ve been there and just haven’t returned.
To the woman who prays every morning, every night, and a little harder every Sunday at church for a baby that hasn’t come… I see you. God does have a plan, speaking from a woman who has yet to have a child.
To the woman who has the heart of a warrior, and will never give up hope… I see you. I am you.
To the woman feeling broken… you’re not.
To the woman feeling alone… you’re not. I see you.
I secretly cringe each time someone announces their pregnancy even if I know they struggled because yet again, it’s them instead of you. Right? I know we’ve all been there.
In all honesty, each single person that struggled with infant loss around the same time I did last year is pregnant now. I can’t help but be happy for them because it’s something I still pray I’m blessed with one day. You’re not alone.
Even if someone did get lucky and happen to get pregnant after the first try, doesn’t mean they don’t struggle after the fact.
I personally love rainbows. They make me happy. I hate the term rainbow baby. I don’t like to think of my first child as a storm who came through and ripped my life away.
Honestly, I’d do it all again just to feel that same type of happiness. Though I don’t necessarily like the term, I do think each child is a gift from God just like he made a promise to us with a rainbow.
My heart is with you.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kimberly Lott and originally appeared here. You can follow their journey on Facebook and Instagram. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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