‘Will I ever be good enough for this job? I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Some days, I fantisize about running away.’: Mom shares candid reality of motherhood, ‘You will conquer today just like every other’

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“I’m just like you.

Everyday doubting the decisions I make for my family. Wondering if I will ever be good enough or if I’m doing a good enough job.

Hiding away, drowning in my own tears of guilt, frustrations, and overwhelm.

It’s hard being a mother, even on a good day. It’s hard trying to raise my children to be good people when I don’t think I’m even one myself.

I solider on another day, another morning of being a dragon woman.

Making lunches that get left behind.

Is it okay I fantasize some days about running away to a deserted island with endless cocktails and sunshine?

I thought I’d be this amazing, relaxed, fun mother. You know, the ones you hear so much about but never actually meet.

Some days I don’t want to be the responsible one. Carrying all this weight on my shoulders. It gets to be too much somedays.

I miss being immature and selfish. I miss spending an entire pay check on myself. I miss being able to walk out of the house and do something for me without consequences.

Wanna know something? Motherhood wreaks havoc on your mental health in a way nothing else can.

It takes everything you once thought you were and removes it from you entirely, until you’re left with a brand new person you don’t recognize.

Courtesy of Jessica Hood

People assume your life is easy because you get to sit at home all day and watch ‘Dr. Phil.’ People still assume being a stay-at-home mother is just an excuse to be unemployed and lazy.

Believe me when I say, I miss interacting with people everyday, going to work, and wearing clothes that aren’t covered in spit up. Having a reason everyday to do my hair and makeup. Having adult conversations.

Look, my kids are great. The best thing that ever happened to me. But geez I wish someone would listen and understand without judging.

Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if we could actually air our thoughts to other mothers, not on the internet but face to face.

Being able to say, ‘Hey, my day sucked and I drank a glass of wine at noon because I was drowning and my kids don’t listen.’

Instead, all we hear about is the wonderful stories and the perfect children who listen and do their homework when asked, leaving us feeling worse and alone because let’s face it, that’s what motherhood is. Lonely.

So I just wanted you to wake up and see this today because, well, it’s Monday. You have seven more days of doing the same sh*t. I wanted to remind you how strong you are and how relevant your feelings are and how normal they are.

I know you love babies, I know you’re doing everything you can. I know you’re gonna spend another day cleaning the house just to watch it be destroyed in 5 minutes, but you’re a wonderful mother and you will conquer today just like every other day.

Be kind to yourselves.

Take five and breathe. Have 10 coffees if you need to. I’ve got your back, and you’re not alone in this.”

Courtesy of Jessica Hood

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jessica Hood. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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