‘A close friend was utterly devastated she was going to have a C-section. I wasn’t the right person to have that conversation with.’: Mom of triplets talks loving your body after infertility struggles

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“The part of my body that has been the greatest struggle for me to choose to love and embrace since the triplet’s birth is my extra skin. I was 105 pounds when I found out I was pregnant with triplets. And I carried them to 34 weeks + 1 day which is a miracle in itself. My body stretched and stretched. I look back at pictures and am blown away by how I carried 3 humans at one time. During my pregnancy I knew my body would be different and I did my best to prepare myself for that. However, learning to love our bodies after carrying a child isn’t always easy, and it certainly takes time.

Side by side of woman before and after being pregnant with triplets

It is easy for us to get in a mindset and talk about everything wrong with our bodies, our flaws, and the parts that really disgust us the most. However, choosing to have grace and focus on the parts of our body we love really help change your perspective of how you see yourself. It took a lot of time for me to change my perspective about my post baby body and I truly believe that changing your perspective is essential to feeling good and appreciating your body for what it did, and what it is now. We have to have grace for our bodies and we have to choose to feel good about ourselves because stomping on our flaws doesn’t make anyone feel good.

Woman pregnant with triplets lays in hospital bed with thumbs up

When I was going through my infertility, a close friend was utterly devastated because she was going to have to have a C-section. While I understand that can be really hard for a woman, I was not the right person to have that conversation with because I would have had 10 C-sections if it meant that I would get a baby. I try and remember that about my postpartum body. I remember being on the phone with her, only wanting to get off. I tried to be supportive and empathetic, but to be honest, my only thought was, ‘You get to have a baby!’ I do understand that many of us have the ‘perfect’ delivery in mind. If you have your heart set on a ‘plan,’ it can be really tough if that plan changes. Hormones are raging, you want your baby to arrive safely, but you also want them to come into this world how you planned. I completely understand why it would be hard for a mom to accept that she would have to have a C-section instead of a vaginal delivery and like I said, I really tried to listen and be empathetic to my friend. However, I was simply not the right person to have that conversation with after all my struggles to conceive.

Woman pregnant with triplets lays in hospital bed with birthing band on as nurse tends to her

Some women want desperately to be moms and would do anything for a road map on their body that define their journey, and for others, the stripes and wounds are all they have left of their child whom left this world too soon.

Woman laying on back holding picture of c-section stitches over her stomach

We are all on a journey, a journey to love and appreciate our bodies. Even when I think back to my infertility, I hated my body. Not because of what I saw, but because of what it couldn’t do. I felt less than, and broken. That perspective didn’t help me on my infertility journey. And now, here I am – one pregnancy, a C-section scar, and 3 babies later, still on a journey to love and appreciate my body. I think it’s normal for it to take time to fully appreciate your new mom body. One day at a time you will gain a fresh perspective and see the beauty in your hope wounds, the stretch marks, and extra skin; you just have to choose to see the beauty.”

Woman lays on ground pulling at postpartum stomach skin

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Desiree Fortin of California. You can follow her journey as a mom of triplets on Instagram.

Read more candid stories from this mama here:

‘We called it ‘Naughty November.’ We were on a roll for the first 3 days. And then I got my period and lost my mojo. I didn’t want my husband to touch me.’

‘We have been living with my parents for 3.5 years. Never in a million years would I have imagined we would move in with my parents, 2 months before the triplets were born.’

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