‘Breathe. Mommy is here. You are safe.’ I hate that he has anxiety. I wish I could take it away from him.’: Special needs mom talks anxiety

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“I hate that he has anxiety.

I wish I could take it away for him.

I’ve struggled with extreme anxiety and I know how much it rules your life when you can’t keep it under control.

Sometimes it comes from nowhere. He will be perfectly happy and then I look in the car mirror and I see the anxiety got to him. He will cry and I just don’t know what he’s worried about.

When we go somewhere different, he is riddled with anxiety. He has been to so many doctor appointments, therapy centers, and clinics that I know each time we drive somewhere new he worries where I’m taking him.

Storyboards help. The book helps. But not always.

It breaks my heart that he struggles so much. I wouldn’t wish anxiety on anyone. It is debilitating for so many of us. I know I am blessed to be able to talk to my mom when I am heading to a panic attack. Her words bring me back and I’ll get through.

Sometimes I feel like autism traps him inside of himself. I wish I could free him out of it—if that makes sense.

It’s okay my sweet boy.

Mommy is here.
You are safe.
Everything is okay.

When the anxiety goes away and my sweet boy is okay again, my anxiety then sneaks its way through.

How will he ever be okay without me?

I stop myself.

Don’t go there.

I hate that he has anxiety.

It’s okay baby,
Mommy is here.”

Courtesy of Lucy Watts

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Lucy Watts. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Lucy:

‘Last night, I had a dream my non-verbal son said, ‘I love you.’ I awoke in tears. Deep in my heart, I wish I could hear his voice.’: Special needs mom says ‘I hope he knows how much I love him’

‘Today social media attacked autism. It mocked, insulted, and made fun of people like my boy.’: Mom to son with autism responds to ‘ugly’ TikTok challenge

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