“Do you know someone who just had a baby?
Are you the spouse of someone who carried a life for 9 months and then labored to the point of exhaustion to deliver said life?
Are the friend, coworker, sibling, or parent of a woman who is any combination of the following?
Human milk machine
Surviving off insanely low amounts of sleep
At home all day caring for multiple children
Putting herself last
24/7 housekeeper, teacher, conflict resolver, nurse.
If so…
BE FREAKING NICE.
Sometimes ask, ‘How are you doing?’ versus ‘how’s the baby?’
Spouses, ask how she’s feeling. Do you know how absolutely bonkers a woman’s hormones are during pregnancy and after delivery? No? If not, please take the time to do some research. She is not herself and she probably never will be. Becoming a mom for the first, second, or even fifth time changes you, forever.
I’ve talked to people who have had their family, friends, and/or husbands say things like, ‘It’s been two weeks. When does your belly go down?’ ‘When are you not going to be so moody?’
Did you know it takes ONE TO TWO YEARS postpartum for a woman’s hormones to balance back to normal? And that for 9 months, we’ve taken on morning sickness, carpal tunnel, lack of sleep, loss of bladder control, nausea, heartburn, swelling, constipation, fatigue, cramps, headaches and just a general state of being uncomfortable while having our entire body morphed and stretched while we share it with another human being?
And a few weeks or months postpartum you think it should bounce back?
Let’s change the narrative.
Let’s check in.
‘Hey, babe. Are you getting enough water?’
‘Want me to come take over so you can take a long shower?’
‘Can I bring dinner?’
‘Want to call me later so you can have a conversation with someone over the age of 4?’
‘Can I pray for you?’
In addition to this, let’s also congratulate our postpartum friends for simple things:
‘Way to go momma for getting in a workout/walking outside!’
‘Look at you leaving the house with two babes. Superwoman!’
‘You took a nap today? AMAZING! So glad you’re taking care of yourself.’
‘Omg! You made dinner? What a rockstar. I know that’s not an easy task.’
SUPPORT.
Rally behind.
Cheer on.
Clap for new moms.
Your words matter.
We need them to be positive.”
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This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Brittany Miles of Detroit, Michigan. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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