“The other night, I had a dream that my grandma showed up in the OR during my c-section. For whatever reason, she had a few choice words for the doctors.
When I shared this dream with her, she laughed! She said she’d have to start consciously watching her language again before Little Man arrives, just like she did when my sisters and I were little.
Along with avoiding the obvious words that we all do when around growing minds, Luke and I make a conscious effort to watch how we speak about ourselves when we are around our nieces and nephews. If we notice we forgot to leave an extra towel out for the other, instead of saying something like, ‘UGH. I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry. Let me grab you one.’, we skip the first part altogether. ‘Oops! Let me grab you one now. Thanks for being patient with my morning mind.’ How sad would you be if a little one you adore spoke to themselves so negatively? And how badly would you want them to flip the script and extend kindness to themselves?
After we did this for quite some time, it donned on us: their minds are not the only ones impacted by this chatter. As adults, the way we talk to and about ourselves to each other can be damaging to our very own minds, too. We give each other all the grace in the world (m-o-s-t of the time, we are humans, far from perfect, after all). But sometimes, when it comes to so freely giving that same grace back to our own selves, it’s a big challenge. It’s a difficult habit to get into.
Giving ourselves the grace to be a human being without the tempting negative self talk can feel so foreign, it’s like walking on our hands.
It can seem like a silly thing at first, but we’ve both found that flexing our positive self talk muscles more and more as a daily practice has really influenced our self esteem, overall self reflection, mood, and even productivity. Just like a daily workout routine, it will always take practice. But I’m grateful to be learning it one day at a time.
Gotta give our own minds some lovin’ so we can better do so to each other, the growing minds around us, and the influential little mind to be.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kelsey Pfleiderer of Islamorada, Florida. Follow her journey on Instagram here and her website here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Kelsey here:
‘I’ve felt my own husband lift me out of bed, daily dressing me, bathing me, and doing things for my body I never would’ve imagined.’: After failed relationships, woman says ‘you are meant for yourself, first’
‘I started ‘hiding’ my social media posts from these two. I put them on the ‘restricted’ list, to be safe from the hurl of their hurt.’: Woman encourages others to ‘stop hiding,’ because you’ll never ‘get the good’ if you stay hidden ‘from the bad’
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