“I remember when I was nineteen and just had my daughter. People were always asking when I planned to go back to work. When I told them I was a stay at home mom, and planned to be for quite a few years, they would always go on to say how lucky I was. Or how I should be so appreciative for that opportunity. But all I could think in my mind was, ‘Then why do I feel so fucking lonely all the time?’
While I am very grateful I have been able to be a stay at home mom for the past four years, it’s also been one of the hardest times of my life.
People always talk about the upside of it. Spending more time with your kids, getting to witness their first milestones, and all of that stuff. But what no one prepared me for, was the downside and mental health struggles that come with that.
Nobody tells you about how much you will lose your patience.
Nobody tells you that you won’t leave the house sometimes for days.
Nobody tells you how hard it is asking for help when you need it.
Nobody tells you it’s not easy. It’s mentally draining.
Nobody tells you that no matter how many hours are in a day, you still won’t feel like you have done enough.
Nobody tells you how draining being stuck in the same routine, everyday, is. The same pile of dishes, the same pile of laundry, the same toys lying all over the floor.
Yes, I am grateful I am able to stay home with my kids. But that doesn’t mean I can’t talk about how hard it is.
You are not alone.
We all struggle to find ‘me’ time. We all struggle asking for help. We all struggle with feeling isolated.
Being a stay at home mom is f*cking lonely.”
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This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Caitlin Fladager. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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