“My body started developing in the 2nd grade. By the 5th grade, my body and insecurities were fully developed. In 6th grade, I was accused of having sex because ‘there was no way’ I was that thick and still a virgin. My insecurities grew. I’ll never forget the day my mom caught me taping my boobs and thighs down. I wanted to hide my body. When I got to high school, I tried embracing my body in all the wrong ways. I used my body for attention and validation. My freshman year of college, I was so afraid to gain the freshman fifteen, I starved myself.
I’ve gotten surgery, I’ve purged, I’ve starved, and I’ve binge eaten. Throughout the years I’ve been called fat, too thick, a hippo, thunder thighs, DD (for double Ds), pear shaped (in the most disrespectful tone), Patrick Star (from Spongebob) and so much more. I internalized everything. I’ve stood in the mirror and saw other people’s perception of me for years. I’ve allowed society, doctors, ignorant therapists, rude family members, and childish men, define what my body was.
I’ve now ripped the tiny bandaid off of a huge wound, and I’m allowing it to heal properly. I love the body God gave me. Of course, there’ll always be room for improvement, but I no longer allow that room to torment me. Honestly, I walk pass a mirror now, and before my negative thoughts can began I say DAMMMMNN YOU FINE! I focus my attention on all the good and I thank God.
We all have allowed others to manifest our insecurities. I’m challenging you to push your past, to the side, and be happy with who you are in the present, because we were all made imperfectly perfect.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kahmani Zeon. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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