‘My husband and I sleep in separate rooms. For 11 years, he’s been downstairs while I’m all the way up in my private mom-cave.’: Woman urges ‘every couple is different, do your thang!’

“Okay, here it goes… my husband and I sleep in separate rooms.

He’s downstairs, and I’m all the way upstairs in my private mom-cave, and I’m telling you guys it is a little slice of heaven.

Because I don’t like sharing a bed — with anyone, never have. Their breathing, their moving, their hogging of the covers, their trips to the bathroom wake me up, and once I’m awake, I’m awake. There’s no settling back in and drifting off to sleep again for me. Nope. For the rest of the night, I’m staring at the ceiling.

So, for all 11 years of our marriage, I’ve had my own room.

I feel like this is something I needed to get off my chest because people can get really weird about it.

I get the ‘Ohhhhhhh’ look. Like my marriage is one step away from separate houses and eventually separate lives. But, I promise you, I think this helps our marriage if anything because a sleepy, cranky wife doesn’t exactly make for a joyful daytime.

‘But what about cuddling? What about SEX?’ they ask. People are verrrrry, overly concerned about our sex life.

Let me tell you, few parents are waking up at 2 a.m. after a long day with the kids and rolling over for some sexy time. (If you do, more power to you!) But sleep is when most of us moms be like, ‘This is the one time of day when no one’s touching me! Stay on your own side!’

So, we cuddle and ‘whatever’ and then say, ‘Good night, honey!’ and we go to our different rooms on our different sides of the house and that’s that.

I share this because I don’t believe any marriage needs to look a certain way to be successful. If you like sleeping side-by-side with your significant other and that gives you comfort, that’s great, too. Every couple is different and has different needs and as long as everyone is comfortable with the arrangement, go for it. Do your thang!

So what if my aunt Susan thinks it’s concerning when I gave her a tour of my house and said, ‘This is the kitchen, this is the living room, this is my husband’s room, and I live in that sanctuary upstairs.’ Who cares?

You do not need to defend your relationship to anyone.

The. End.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Lauren Lodder of Mommy Owl. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

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