“My body was ‘advanced’ to say the least. I hit puberty early, at 10 years old to be exact. When I was 12, it became a nightmare. Things were so bad, I would almost pass out when it was that time of the month. I didn’t get to participate in regular summer activities with the other kids because of the severity and uncertainties that came with that time. Every year it got worse. I was unable to see a doctor about my problems until I was 19 years old. Something strange happened. Four days after my cycle had ended, I began to cramp severely. I passed an object that I had no idea what was. I was a virgin, but it was almost like I had miscarried. The object was clear and full of veins, and I kept it and took it to my general doctor. My cervix was tilted, and my uterus was working too hard. They said that the inner lining of my uterus had sluffed off and formed a tissue mass, and that is what I had passed.
‘This is very uncommon for your age. We normally don’t see anything like this in people under the age of 50. I’m going to recommend you to a specialist. You need to be put on medication as soon as possible,’ she told me, and continued to stress how serious it was.
Deep down I was always certain I had endometriosis, but that was tissue growth on the outside. This was tissue from the inside. The only two things I ever wanted to accomplish in life was to be a wife and a mother. I knew my chances were getting slimmer every year with my second life goal. They tried me on 11 medications before one finally worked. But working didn’t mean what you think it did… Working didn’t mean I had little pain or was less likely to pass out. It didn’t mean that my cycles were lighter. I still passed small strips of tissue every month. It just meant I was on a more predictable schedule and the tissue passing wasn’t as large.
I was 24 before I finally found my soulmate and got married. We both wanted children, but I had hoped to wait and be married and enjoy one another for a small time first. We didn’t get your typical pet of dogs or cats. We started out with chickens and raised them from babies. They were our silly children that we loved to come home to and spoil. But we did long for actual children one day.
I noticed that my problems kept getting even worse, and a day came where I was driving home from work crying because I realized that maybe my reproductive cycle days were even shorter than I had thought. After all, I had been struggling with these problems for about 10 years already. Even being the young age that I was, my body had already worn down for years in that category. I scheduled an appointment with a new doctor in the area that my husband and I had moved to. I shared with her all of my struggles and concerns, and she wanted to look deeper. Looking deeper, she found it. On top of all of these issues I had, she found a small tumor setting inside of my uterus. ‘I don’t want to remove it,’ she said. ‘I fear that if we remove it, your uterus will be too weak to hold a baby. But where it’s located is dangerous too. You’ll be more likely to miscarry. You’ll also be more likely to lose a baby farther along. If it grows while you’re pregnant, it could push on your baby and keep it from growing. Also, it’s in the same spot that your baby would move into birthing position, so you’ll probably need a C-Section to keep it from blocking birth. You need to have all the kids you want before we remove it. We will leave it in until you can’t handle the pain from it anymore. Are y’all ready to have kids? I recommend you get off of your medication in the next couple of months and get started.’ We had been married for 5 short months when I got this news. I had hoped to be married at least a year and a half before trying. But we talked it over and decided to go with her suggestion.
In two months, I got off of my medication. I worked at a church, and one day while working, I went inside the sanctuary alone. I found myself at the alter talking to God. ‘If things are as bad as they say they are, please let me get pregnant quickly. Let that be the way I know I need to get ahead on this. If I don’t get pregnant in the next couple months, let that be the way I know that it’s okay. That maybe we can wait a couple years, and things will still be okay then. I trust you either way.’ We decided to try for one month, and if nothing happened then we would wait. Before it was even time for my cycle to start, I began noticing small things in my body changing that I had never experienced before. Both of us were in shock with how easily I had gotten pregnant! But deep down, I was scared to death. I was scared to attach myself to this child because I was so scared of losing it. Every single time I went to the bathroom, I was looking for blood in anticipation that my body would reject this baby.
I can say one thing, the first 3 months, my body did NOT like being pregnant. I was so sick, that I wondered if I would stay this way the entire 9 months. My uterus was weak, and it was very evident. Even if I simply sneezed, I felt like I had pulled a muscle in my uterus. I lost 12 pounds, and was having a hard time gaining, but the baby was growing so well that my doctor wasn’t concerned at all. At 17 weeks, I felt my baby kick for the first time. I assume because of the angle that everything is tilted too, and that my uterus is thin, and that my baby isn’t a small one. All of those combined has given me this wonderful early experience with my child.
I still have fears. Things can still go very wrong very quickly. But right now, I’m halfway through this pregnancy and my baby is healthy! It may be the only baby that I ever get to have, only time will tell that. But we’re halfway there, and I love this child so much already. I’m beyond blessed and so thankful to have made it this far. I can’t wait to hold this sweet baby in my arms in a few short months. So far, there hasn’t been any evident growth in the tumor. It’s still a concern, but we’re taking it day by day. We can’t wait to add to our flock!”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Savannah Sloan, 25, of Columbus, Mississippi. Have you experienced something similar? We’d like to hear your journey. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best stories in our free newsletter here.
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