‘The excitement of a normal poop, the pain seeing your child poked 1,000 times, the strength to continue walking inside.’: Hospital mom describes emotional journey during NICU Awareness Month

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“It’s NICU awareness month.

No one understands the NICU unless you’ve been in that NICU. That level 4 NICU with almost every baby intubated fighting for their life, as their sweet nurse sits bedside and watches every tiny number, waveform, and output that sweet baby has.

NICU mom lets her child hold her finger while intubated in an isolette
Courtesy of Hailey Faubion

No parent understands NG tubes, drains, high flow, temp check cries, assessment times, the excitement of a normal poop, the excitement of vent setting being turned down, changing a diaper that’s the same width of a dollar bill, low stimulation, breastmilk swabbing, the excitement of a feeding going up an mL, unless you’ve been in that NICU.

No parent understands the late night calls of a parent, the early morning calls of an emergency, pressing a button on an incubator before you can touch your child, the emotional toll of the ups and downs in the baby’s day, the longing to rock your baby to sleep just one time except a NICU parent.

Mom wears a mask while touching her preemie child in the NICU while she's intubated in an isolette
Courtesy of Hailey Faubion

No parent knows the pain to see your child be poked 1,000 times, the crying out to God to perform a miracle, the strength it takes to stop treatment, the strength it takes to hold your child as you pray their way back into their maker’s arms, the never forgetting eye contact between you and a physician as they call a time of death except the chosen few NICU parents.

No parent know the strength to continue to walk into that NICU because you have another baby. The strength it takes to walk past the burning candles and moments of silence for each baby who lost his or her fight because you have another baby in the NICU.

No parent knows the joy of a progressing baby, the joy of shattering every milestone to graduate the NICU, the joy of holding that baby in a recliner at YOUR HOME but a NICU grad parent.

So, this month, remember those parents. The ones still in the fire, for they need prayers daily. Remember the ones out of the fire because they still fear daily for their little miracle. Remember those bad ass nurses for making it their priority to get those babies home. This month just remember a NICU baby, their parents and their nurses.”

Couple look forlorn while holding their NICU preemie twins while hooked up to tubes and monitors
Courtesy of Hailey Faubion

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Hailey Faubion. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribeto our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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