‘There’s never a shame glance at the chocolate on the wall, or a pile of dishes. Somewhere out there is your band of weirdos.’: Mom thankful for her tribe says, ‘I can’t imagine it without you’

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“My boy army has more than a few amazing moms helping steward them into adulthood. They are my soul sisters. We shoulder burdens together, solve problems together, raise babies together, and laugh together until our sides ache because these kids are absolutely ridiculous. These are the women I meant when I said, ‘Intentionally choose who has a seat at your table.’ I didn’t mean your dinner table; I meant the 9 p.m., hot tea or wine in hand crew.

They are the confidantes, the gatekeepers of our hardest moments and our deepest sorrows. They listen without judgment. They champion our wildest dreams. They share in the weight of raising tiny helpless babies into fully functional adults. I could give you a thousand examples of these women sharing diapers, sunscreen, and snacks (holy cow at the snacks, they are literally never full). We pick each other’s kids up and show up at their plays and life’s moments. We’ve washed laundry and showered at each other’s houses. We wash each other’s dishes. And my very most favorite part is the lack of judgment.

Social media makes us think everyone else’s lives are more put together than our own. This crew isn’t here for that. There is never a shame glance over the chocolate milk on someone’s wall, or the pile of dishes. No one cares if there are toys on the floor or crumbs on the table, because it just doesn’t matter. We’re here to support one another, whatever that means.

Courtesy Katie Bryant

My other most favorite part? These women have goals. They have dreams. They have aspirations, and they are running after them. Something really amazing happens when you share the weight of life with others; you’re light enough to chase your wildest dreams yourself.

Why am I telling you this? Because I have a suspicion some of you haven’t found this yet, and your tribe is waiting. Somewhere out there is a band of weirdos who would love to have you stand around their kitchen island and belt karaoke until all the kids ask you to stop (or so I’ve heard). There’s a group of moms near you who are craving community and solidarity. There’s a mom out there who is ready to be vulnerable.

The secret? Here’s what I’ve learned: if you’re willing to open up all of your messy bits and your not-so-pretty moments to share your truth, you will find people are willing to go deeper with you. You become a safe place where honesty, transparency, and longing are met with human connection and love. It’s a place worth finding.

To all the Bryant boy’s bonus moms, a million times, thank you. I could never imagine this ride without you, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to. To the rest of you, there’s always room for more. Pull up a seat and pour some tea. Don’t mind the crumbs; you’ll find we’ve all got them.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Katie Bryant, 31, of North Carolina. Follow Katie on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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