”A story I’ve been waiting almost 3 and a half years to tell because I have been wanting to share my family with everyone.
March 2012: My wife and I had met in Arizona while she was attending Arizona State University and I was playing football for Mesa Community College. As time passed, my wife and I eventually dated and after a year, decided we wanted to be married.
I can’t tell you enough how much I loved this woman and on the daily, thanked God for her and all she was. During that time, we spoke about how many kids we wanted, the house we were wanting to build together, and how excited we were for starting our future together.
August 3rd, 2013:
We got married here in Utah and I can still remember how amazing that day was. It was beautiful, and the weather was just right for us. My heart was full and there was nothing more beautiful than seeing my wife in her wedding dress, accepting the promises we made, and committing to eternity hand in hand. We continued with sharing our dreams of our future with one another; little did we know of the trials and struggles that lied ahead just months after we made our decision to be married.
It seemed our dreams of becoming a family were overshadowed with hospital visits and I had to stop my pursuit of my football career to take care of the love of my life. These hospital visits brought heart wrenching news that devastated both my wife and I….that we may never have the opportunity to have children of our own.
My heart pled to God and asked him that if it were in the cards, to bless us with one child. There were nights where I felt completely hopeless and in addition, hearing my wife cry herself to sleep knowing that this was somehow her fault. No matter what I said, she would always apologize: ‘Alo….I’m so sorry I can’t have kids. I’m sorry that I can’t give you what we wanted. I’m just sorry for everything.’ There was nothing I could do or say to convince this wonderful woman that this wasn’t her fault.
We were close to accepting the fact that we may never have children…but with the announcements of our close friends being pregnant as well as our immediate family, the void became bigger. I became jealous of their happiness. It got to the point they were afraid to announce their pregnancies with us because of our situation and did not want to be insensitive. We felt horrible for not being able to express how happy we were for them, but they knew deep down that we were hurting more than anything.
Never in a million years did I think this beautiful woman who I had vowed to protect and take care of, would ever look as if life had defeated her. I felt the prayers I had poured out above were left unanswered and left my faith wavering.
As soon as we had given up all hope, the idea of becoming Foster Parents came up. I’ll admit at first, I was very much against it because I wasn’t sure how I felt about taking in someone who I knew nothing about and I even became angry that we even had to go this route to enjoy life’s greatest gifts.
My heart had softened the day I received a call from my brother while I was flipping a home in Holladay, UT.
Him: ‘Hey bro, I know you and Ash have been wanting to foster for quite some time and we have good need for you. We have a family of 3 who were just placed in states custody that are needing a home and you were the first ones I wanted to talk with. Talk with your wife and let me know what’s up.’
I called my wife with the news and I was so nervous and anxious because this might actually be happening. We had spoken for what seemed like an eternity and came to the decision that we were going to take them in.
I called my brother and he then explained to me: ‘Man, you know what? I just found out the 3 are actually part of a family of 6… now I know this seems like a bit of a jump, but I know if anyone can do it, you and your wife can.’
My wife and I talked for a bit and there was no way we would separate this family and told my brother we would take all 6 of them in.
March 30th, 2015: We took in this family of 6 and they looked like they were just as defeated as we were… and we were okay with that. All we could give them was the love we’ve been yearning to give our unborn children. As the months went by, we learned that our children had more needs than we had anticipated.
4 of the 6 are special needs and although that didn’t change how we loved them, it was pretty hard to understand their ways of thinking and how to raise their delicate lives. We read and experimented different ways, but what I loved most: My wife was getting her light back.
I cried watching her pick up our younger ones and made sure they knew that ‘mom’ loved them no matter what. She carried their load of what they missed out and replaced it with the love of her own…and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever encountered. She helped our teens understand the meaning of hard work and dedication and that just because they had special needs, that didn’t dictate how they would love the rest of their lives.
3 years later: April 3rd, 2018
We made it official and adopted these beautiful blessings. They took on my last name as Moli’s and even changed their names and incorporated names from my wife’s side and they also took on Tongan names after my immediate family.
Our journey to get to this point was worth every ounce of what is left today: Love. Loving them regardless of their situation and history of where they came from.
If you or anyone is struggling with infertility, I’m here for you. I understand that at times it feels like a lonely road, but I’m here to lend an ear.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Alo Moli, 27, of Utah. Submit your own story here, and subscribe to our best stories in our free newsletter here.
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