‘They whine because they FEEL SAFE. It’s the silent ones I worry about. They are the ones who don’t feel safe.’: Former social worker says, ‘Imagine all the times you felt too scared to speak up’

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“I want to say something not a lot of people will agree with.

Your children whine, whinge, and complain, because you’re doing a good job.

They whine and whinge because they feel safe.

Kids who don’t whinge, who are quiet, silent, they are the ones who don’t feel safe.

More whinging = amazing parenting.

Imagine all the times you felt too scared to speak up about how you were feeling. Where you said nothing. Well, my dear, your kids don’t have that fear because you are their safe space.

I’ve worked as a social worker with children for a few years, and it’s the silent ones I worried about. Not the shy ones or the quiet ones. The ones who were too scared to speak up.

So, I know it’s incredibly hard in the moment, when they’re literally clawing all over you, complaining about the color of a cup, the fact you won’t let them go out, bed time is wayyyy too excessive, or when they rush out of school and give you major attitude. I know it’s hard to remember, but know it’s because you are truly their safest space for every unpleasant emotion which only you can handle.

And they know it.”

Courtesy of Laura Mazza

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza. Follow Laura on Instagram hereDo you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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