Before I Became A Mother, I’d Already Labeled Myself As ‘Not Enough’

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“Before I became a mother, I had already labeled myself as not enough.

I couldn’t get pregnant on my own. I was infertile. My body was failing me. I wasn’t enough.

Woman who didn't feel like enough stands as husband injects fertility medication

When the triplets were born I almost died. I didn’t get to meet them for an entire day. I remember feeling like I wasn’t enough, like I failed them because my first moments with them were through FaceTime.

And then 3 months into their lives I made the decision to stop breastfeeding. I wasn’t enough then either.

Woman who didn't feel like enough before children breastfeeds two of her triplets

It wasn’t long until GERD kicked in. Not only did I feel incredibly helpless, but I felt inadequate as a mother. I had no idea how what I was doing and felt exhausted all the time. I wasn’t enough.

My body has also changed dramatically since I grew three humans at one time. Sometimes I don’t even feel comfortable in my own skin; the wrinkles, the sag. I’ve even wondered, ‘Is my husband attracted to me anymore?’ I am not enough.

Close up of woman's stomach with extra skin after giving birth to triplets

There was also the day my doctor diagnosed me with postpartum depression and anxiety and prescribed me medication to help me function day to day. That was a day I will never forget, a day when I truly felt like I wasn’t enough.

My daughter almost drowned this summer. I failed her. I didn’t keep her safe. I wasn’t enough then either.

If only I could have seen that I have always been enough, and I will always be enough.

I needed help to get pregnant. It doesn’t make me a failure. I am enough.

On the day I almost died delivering my babies, I brought 3 lives into this world. I am enough.

Mother who didn't feel like enough before children hold newborn twins in hospital

On the day I chose to stop breastfeeding, I chose to feed my babies. I am enough.

I felt helpless all those months my babies suffered with GERD, but I did everything I could to help them. I am enough.

On the day I was diagnosed with PPD and anxiety, I made a choice to change, to be healthy for my family, to be a better me. I am enough.

Woman with fertility struggles holds fertility medication bottles with words, "I am enough" on them

My body is different now. I brought life into this world, and that is so beautiful. There is a newfound confidence and I have to cling to that. I am enough.

My daughter almost drowned this summer, but she survived because I saved her. I am enough.

Woman holds young daughter in her lap in hospital bed who almost drowned

It is very easy to twist our perspective as a mother and see all our faults, but Mama, change what you see because I guarantee you are enough too. In our lifetime we are given many experiences that are sometimes easier to look at and say, ‘I am not enough,’ but we need to change our perspective. I am enough. You are enough. We are enough!”

Woman lying in hospital bed pregnant with triplets

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Desiree Fortin of California. You can follow her journey as a mom of triplets on InstagramSubscribe to our free email newsletter, Living Better—your ultimate guide for actionable insights, evidence backed advice, and captivating personal stories, propelling you forward to living a more fulfilling life.

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