‘I’m happy for you, but worried. You think your baby won’t survive. You need to hit the pause button.’: Mom gives support to other pregnant women after loss, ‘The moment is yours’

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“To the person who is pregnant after loss,

I know I should start by congratulating you on your pregnancy, but you and I both know how complicated those congratulations can be.

While I’m happy for you, I am also worried. I’m sure you can relate. This is what it’s like to be pregnant after a loss. There are a lot of feelings to maneuver. It’s hard to focus on one feeling. Because when you are happy about being pregnant, you’re also scared it could end. You’re excited to meet your new baby and worried they won’t survive.

All these feelings are valid. But there are times when it’s too much. And while it’s not possible to completely shelve all those feelings, it is possible to hit the pause button and just focus on right now.

When things feel impossible, scary, and unknown, just focus on right now.

RIGHT NOW, you are pregnant.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds or even the next hour, but I know that right now you are pregnant.

We both know how quickly this can change. We know how swiftly things can go from wonderful to devastating–from life to death.

But right now?

Right now, you are pregnant.

Right now, inside of you, is a baby who is very much alive. A baby who is growing. A baby who is more than a possibility–they are very real.

Because RIGHT NOW, you are pregnant.

Take a moment to lean in and focus on the right now. This exact moment in time when you are pregnant. No matter what happens, no one can take away this moment. This moment is yours. It belongs to you and your baby.

What is happening right now is not a guarantee, but there is one thing I can guarantee.

The love you are feeling right now? That is forever.



Courtesy of Rachel Whalen

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Rachel Whalen of An Unexpected Family Outing. The book she contributed to, Pregnancy After Loss Support: Love Letters To Moms Pregnant After Loss is available here. The article originally appeared here. Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.

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