This year for Christmas, I know you won’t ask me for anything or understand why a burly man in a red suit is so important.
You won’t understand why there are so many parties and great food, or why this little baby sitting in a manger is being spoken about.
This evening, I won’t be able to explain to you Santa will be here at night, and we should leave cookies out for him, because why would we leave cookies out for no good reason other than to eat them?
You might even take one from me and spin around gleefully, giggling at the same time.
Tonight will be like any other night, happy your mommy and daddy are next to you when you fall asleep to your favorite playlist on your iPad.
You’ll reach over to take my arm and caress it to tell me you love me. No words will be needed, I know.
Tomorrow morning, when we open our gifts, you won’t complain about what you received or even seem bothered if it wasn’t something you like, because for you, a gift of unwrapping something always holds a surprise.
You’ll be content the tree lights are on, and that we’re having pancakes you love so much with clouds of whip cream to complement.
On Christmas Day, I’ll take pictures for you, in hopes one day you will look at them and say to me you did remember.
That you’ll remember I tried.
I hope you remember how special we made you feel, because you are, and that’s what’s most important.
I pray one day you’ll be able to communicate to me what you’re feeling and have a conversation with me about anything.
I promise I won’t ever ask you to be quiet, because I’ve been waiting five years to hear you speak on your own. I’ll wait an eternity if it takes that long.
In the meantime, I want you to know it’s me who has received the most precious gifts from you.
I’ve been witness to your appreciation of what’s most valuable this season. I know you won’t understand it all, but I do know what you do understand…
Warm fireplaces are nice, snow falling is magical, and smiles mean kindness.
I love you, dear son, today and every day more of this life we share together.
Merry Christmas my precious angel.
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