‘We think people don’t like us. We go through all our unanswered texts. We knit-pick until we’re miserable.’: Woman shamelessly admits to being part of the ‘moms on antidepressants club’

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“I’m a part of the moms on antidepressants club. It’s a not-so-secret society made up of moms who suffer from depression and anxiety.

We don’t want to be the ‘crazy mom,’ so we keep it pretty tight-lipped on who’s in our inner-circle. We don’t know every member, too, because we respect people’s need to remain anonymous.

Courtesy of Danielle Sherman-Lazar

It’s not an exclusive group—
anyone can join.

But even though we may take our pills, our days are still not filled with unicorns and rainbows.

Even when there’s nothing we should be upset about, we sometimes find ourselves feeling sad.

People who don’t understand say, ‘But there’s nothing you should be sad about.’ And we know that rationally speaking, but we can’t help how we feel—
that’s depression.

Some days it’s just a passing moment. Other days, the sadness lingers by draining through our entire bodies, through every cell and organ—
and we feel it deeply.

We think of all the people that probably don’t like us. We go through all of our unanswered texts. We knit-pick until we’re good and miserable.

We’re not enough.
We’re awkward.
We’re ugly.

And we feel alone.

But we aren’t alone.
We’re a part of the moms on antidepressants club.

So, we take a little pill each morning or night to help lessen the bad feelings and thoughts.

And it gets better, but it’s not a bulletproof vest.
So, some days we still feel sad.

We aren’t ‘crazier’ than you.
We are you, wanting to be better versions of ourselves for our kids.
And antidepressants make us better moms—
so of course, we take them.

Courtesy of Danielle Sherman-Lazar

They aren’t for the weak. They are for the strong—
because the strong take the help they need, even if it’s inside of a small prescription bottle.
And we take it day in, day out to feel better despite the stigmas and labels.

We take a pill,
so we can dance, laugh, and feel each day with our kids.

We take a pill,
so we’re able to make it through the day without every comment or incident causing us to spiral.

We take a pill,
to show our kids that getting help is brave—
that we’re brave—
and they can be, too.”

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Courtesy of Danielle Sherman-Lazar

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Danielle Sherman-Lazar of New Jersey. You can follow her journey on Facebook and her blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Danielle here:

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