I’ve heard it said that the early years of motherhood are the hardest time to foster true friendships. I get that– really I do. Girl’s days are few and far between, and it can be crazy hard to coordinate schedules long enough to find time to talk, let alone actually get together.
But, that being said, I can also say with 100% confidence that I have never had truer and stronger friendships than I do now, in this season of my life. These friends are elbow-deep in this motherhood thing too, and I truly feel that has made all of the difference.
A mom friend is the best kind of friend, and here’s why:
1. If you forget to text back, she gets it. She knows that an unanswered message isn’t an indication of love lost, but just an indication of how dang busy you are. In fact, she may have gotten so busy herself that she didn’t even notice you failed to reply.
2. You don’t have to dress to impress. When you show up to her house in a sweatpants, a messy-bun, and a tee covered in mac n’ cheese (at least, that’s what you think it is…) chances are she’ll be in the same thing!
3. She won’t get her feelings hurt when you cancel or reschedule plans, even when it happens more than once. Have a sick kid, need some family time, or just don’t feel like going through the motions of leaving the house? She’ll understand and embrace your decision.
4. You have someone to celebrate all of the awesome and exciting accomplishments of your kids. First steps, a random act of kindness, a spot on the honor roll– you name it: if your kid did it, and you’re excited, she will be equally as thrilled.
5. You also have someone to vent to when your kids are being little turds. Kid #1 got into the hot pink nail polish and painted the house? Kid #2 threw an Oscar-worthy tantrum in the middle of Target? Tell her about it. She’ll be there to listen… and refill your wine glass.
6. You have someone to look to for solid answers. Whether you’re in need of a cleaning hack, parenting tip, or solid relationship advice, there’s a good chance that she has been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale (and give pointers).
7. She doesn’t mom-shame you. No two moms do things exactly the same all of the time, and she understands that. Instead of judging, she supports and celebrates your parenting style, even when it’s different from her own. She’ll even turn the other way as you brush off a piece of food that has exceeded the “five-second rule,” and feed it to your kid anyway.
8. All of those really gross and embarrassing issues that have plagued you since your motherhood journey began? She’s probably experienced some of them too. Hemorrhoids, skin tags, sour-breastmilk scented bras, hair popping up in weird places… (should I continue?). Guess what– she’s been there! At some point, she has probably also peed her pants just a little bit when sneezing in public, so there’s that for something to bond over.
9. She’ll tell it like it is. Look, she’s used to dealing with kids all day, too, and probably doesn’t have the patience or energy left to sugar-coat things. She loves you and wants what’s best for you, so she’s not going to beat around the bush and leave things unsaid. She’ll be the first to tell you when you need to reevaluate a decision. She’ll also be the one to tell you when your dry shampoo just isn’t cutting it anymore, and your hair needs an actual shampooing (is that even a thing?).
10. You have someone else in your corner cheering you on and telling you how kick-ass you are. We all need to hear that we’re succeeding in this whole parenting/raising-constructive-members-of-society thing, and she’ll tell you every chance she gets.
11. She’s reliable. You could call her at one o’clock in the morning in the middle of a snowstorm and you can bet that if you needed her, she would be find a way to be there for you.
12. Your kids have another adult figure in their lives. Whether they refer to her by name, call her their aunt, or respond to her as a second mom, it never hurts to have one more set of eyes, ears, and hands hanging around. She also won’t hesitate to step in to discipline your kid when you’re not around, should the need arise.
13. She thinks all of those motherhood memes, posts, and videos are hilarious, too. You now have someone to tag on Facebook beside your guy (trust me– he’s breathing a sigh of relief about this one).
14. You have someone to confide in on those days when you just aren’t all that excited about your mom gig. Some days are just plain hard; some days make us dread doing it all over the next day. She won’t judge you for feeling this way, and she’ll be there to lean on until you get back to a place of loving the mom life.
15. She’s loyal. Even when you go for a while between chats, even when you can’t seem to find time in each of your crazy busy mom schedules for a cup of coffee, even when you feel alone… she’s there.
And she’ll always, ALWAYS be there.
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