“My whole life I have always dreamt of being a mom. My husband is a high school and young adults pastor. I always watched my husband doing a job that he was made to do, that he was so passionate about, and I was incredibly envious of that. I wondered if being a mom would one day make me feel that way.
I started my blog She Delights to help get my mind off the fact that for six months my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant and each month was an emotional roller coaster. I wanted it so badly, but each month was heartbreaking for me. Everyone told me it could take a while after getting off birth control, but as a very impatient person, these answers did little to quell my anxiety and obsessive fear.
Some girls dreamt of being astronauts, actresses, doctors, but for me, if I couldn’t be a real-life Disney Princess, then my dream job was to be a mom.
Once January hit, my husband and I were taking a group of high school students up to the snow for a winter retreat over MLK weekend. The very first night I slipped on a patch of ice and fell down some stairs and hurt my back so badly that I was sent home from the camp. When I met with the doctors, they ordered an X-ray for the very next day. A friend of mine asked me, ‘Wait, but could you be pregnant? Should you get an x-ray if you are possibly pregnant?’ I wasn’t going to find out for sure for two weeks, and I sure wasn’t about to get my hopes up again. So I said no, but let my doctor know and he advised that I remain bedridden for two weeks except to go to physical therapy.
Two weeks went by full of Netflix and DoorDash, and my back slowly got better, so I went to work for the first time since my fall. It was my first time walking, standing, sitting in a chair for four straight hours and my back rebelliously shouted, ‘TAKE ME HOME TO NETFLIX.’
That was the day I was supposed to start my period, and I hadn’t started as of that afternoon, so I took the test. I went back to watching Netflix, and then after enough time had passed went to the bathroom counter and peered at the test: PREGNANT. Cue all the sobs and tears of joy.
I couldn’t believe that a baby survived my fall, the pain killers, the almost X-ray fiasco, and yet it had.
I jump up and realize that I gotta tell my husband. Check my clock: 3:56 p.m. Dang it! He won’t be home for another hour and a half. I was impatient that we didn’t get pregnant within six months of trying; I sure wasn’t going to wait an hour and a half for him to get home. So, I text him:
‘I am not doing well.’ (sorta true…. I am crying.)
‘Come home now.’ (He will because I have a fractured back!)
He calls. I’m still crying happy tears, but they sound sad when I say:
‘Come home. I need you home.’ (not lying. Those are true statements)
He is coming straight home. Success! Praise the Lord for this fractured back.
Cue the video of telling my husband (he throws open the door because he thinks I’m in loads of pain. His look of shock is at seeing me standing, and then he reads the four pieces of legal pad paper that spell out ‘You are a dad.’
My husband is an auditory learner, so I say it and his response is beautiful. I have never heard his voice reach that note haha. But man is he the greatest dad.
Surprising my parents with the big news wasn’t too shabby either.
On October 4, 2017, Grace Kelly Howard was born healthy and perfect in every single way.
We could not be happier and so in awe of our baby girl and how God orchestrated this beautiful story together.
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