‘The same people who were created from sex are the same reason why you’ll never have it again.’: Mom hilariously points out the ironies of motherhood

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“The ironies of motherhood…

I let my kids make a mess because it keeps them distracted while I clean the other messes they’ve already made.

The same people who were created from sex are the same reason why you’ll never have it again.

I’ve gained 50 pounds and yet I’ve never sat down to have a proper meal ever! (How many calories ARE leftover nuggets?)

You work 24/7 but don’t get paid and are asked, ‘What did you do all day?’

Courtesy Laura Mazza

I am tired all day. I openly complain about it, only to get to go to bed finally after a long exhausting day to not be able to fall asleep.

Someone’s always hanging off you or your boob… and yet, you feel so lonely!

Your child will start to love bananas, so you practically buy a banana farm, only to have them tell you they freaking hate bananas.

Also, your child has eaten his own poo before but refuses to try the dinner you so lovingly cooked.

You spend hours grooming. Brushing hair, cutting nails, brushing teeth, washing and moisturizing skin… and yet you look like you’ve been smacked in the face with manure. That’s because none of the grooming is for you.

The only time you won’t pack a change of clothes, wipes, or diapers is when your kid sh*ts all over the place like a poonami.

Courtesy Laura Mazza

You swore you’d never become your parents but just heard yourself yell, ‘What are you? Blind?’

And gasped. (It’s done)

Your mother-in-law will give you parenting advice and yet…

You yell at your children to just ‘listen, for goodness sakes,’ but can tune those monkeys out like it’s nobody’s business.

You can’t wait for them to walk and talk but as soon as they do, you wish they wouldn’t. For so many reasons.

You spend all day waiting for those stinkers to go bed, but when they fall asleep, you stare at their little faces, thinking ‘How could someone ever call these beautiful angels stinkers?’ Your heart is full of love and anticipation waiting to see them again.”

Courtesy Laura Mazza

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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