“The last few weeks of pregnancy are the slowest weeks you will ever experience. They just drag and draaaaag.
You get your hopes up at every doctor’s appointment, thinking, ‘this is it, this is when they’re going to tell me I’m dilated to a 4 and I’m 100% effaced. They’re going to sweep my membranes and that’ll for sure put me into labor.’ But then the doctor says you’re only at 1 centimeter and your hopes are immediately crushed. Seriously? Only 1? But your pelvis is on fire! Your hemorrhoids are raging. Your penguin waddle CLEARLY screams dilated-to-a-4! Are you sure?! Please check again. You try not to lose it in front of her. You swallow back the burning in your throat and hold back the tears welling in your eyes. Then you whisper to yourself, ‘I’m going to be pregnant forever, aren’t I?’
You come home and try everything in the books. Pineapple, squats, lunges, long walks, bouncing on the yoga ball, sex, evening primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea (which let’s be honest, you’ve been doing this for weeks), eating spicy foods, pumping with your brand new pump…everything. Then others start suggesting everything they tried, swearing it worked for them. You’ve tried it. You’ve tried it a hundred times each day. But you’re coming to the conclusion the things that worked for them were probably just a coincidence. Does anything REALLY work? This baby is never coming out.
You’re looking your due date straight in the eyes and you want to cry. You KNOW babies come when babies are ready. You knew going into this a lot of women deliver their babies after their due dates. You know this baby is obviously quite comfortable curled up in your womb. But as you trudge through the mud of those last days, it’s the most unhelpful thing to be reminded of. Yes, yes, thank you for reminding me I’m not in charge of when this baby makes its appearance. But a liiiiittle empathy would go a long way. You’re so desperate to meet this little one. WHY aren’t they ready to meet you yet?
I am so anxious to meet this baby. It feels like such a long time coming. It’s also blowing my mind that all of my other babies were born by now. Why does my last have to be my longest? It seems so backwards!
Someone who has been following our story noticed my desperation to evict this little one. This beautiful person decided to reach out with a message.
‘Your dad isn’t ready to give up the cuddles he’s getting in Heaven with baby just yet. He’s sending you so many signs to let you know baby is perfectly safe in his arms for now. He will hand baby over after he gets his last snuggles in. He’s just taking extra-long to let go because he knows this baby will never truly know him. So he wants to get to know baby as long as possible first,’ the message said.
My dad died three years ago from cancer. I didn’t know whether to bawl my eyes out while reading this, or feel so blessed that I have someone I love so much looking after my little one until it’s my turn. I wanted to hug this person so hard through my screen. To take the time to make me see this experience in a different light, is a gift I will forever be grateful for.
The message itself is so beautiful. Most of us Mamas have someone we love in Heaven, whether it be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, parent, or friend. It breaks our hearts we will never get the chance to witness them hold and love on our baby. We will never have pictures of the two of them together.
Now as I rub my belly, I imagine my dad cradling my child. I can hear him singing the songs he once sang to my other children and I can see his eyes beam with pride over this newest grandchild. It’s not fair that I won’t get to witness it first-hand. But it makes these last few days much more bearable when I think about it. Now, I am much more than willing to give him a few extra days of loving someone that will never remember him. I also have three grandparents in Heaven that I picture loving on this baby as well. As they all take their turns, I’m much more inclined to wait for mine.
It’s always worth it in the end to finally meet your baby. The days you spent frustrated that you’re still pregnant quickly fade away once you see their sweet faces and hold their tiny bodies. Just a few more days!
Thank you, Dad, for loving this baby before sending it down to be loved by me.”
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