“I lost it today. I hit my lowest point, a moment I’m not proud of, even embarrassed to admit.
The dent in the wall? It’s from me.
The toy I’m holding? Yep, I threw it against the wall in a fit of tears.
Amidst the morning chaos, with a toddler and second grader, it looked like a tornado had struck our basement.
I broke down in tears and yelled at my children to leave me alone. As I cleaned up, the tears turned into sobs and my frustration took over. I hurled a toy at the wall and watched it crashed to the ground with a thud.
The tears kept falling as I sat against the wall, crying and shocked, as I lost my cool.
The weight of the world finally got to me. After holding it in for 8+ months, my emotions reared to an ugly head. Hundreds of days of holding it together, unraveled in a matter of seconds.
As parents, we’re trying our best. We’ve become stay-at-home moms, we’re supervising remote learning, we’re trying to do typical chores, all while many of us also have full-time careers.
As I sat slumped against the wall, I looked around at the toys. I am a parent, yet in the moment, all I wanted was my mom.
As the pandemic gets worse, I find myself stressed out and just plain sad.
Sad my parents haven’t seen their grandchildren in a year.
Sad the sports which gave my daughter a sense of normalcy have come to an abrupt halt because of rising cases.
Sad because my daughter hasn’t been inside her school since March, and I wonder if she’ll even walk those halls this school year.
And sadness coupled with guilt as I look at the world around us. I am grateful to have a job, to be healthy, yet so many others aren’t so lucky.
So why am I sharing my lowest point?
Because the dent in the wall represents so many of us: a symbolic meltdown after months of immense pressure we feel in life these days.
The dent in the wall, it will get patched up and smoothed over. It will eventually look as good as new. And we will get there, too. It may not be tomorrow, or even three months from now, but eventually life will feel new again.”
This story was written by Stacey Skrysak, an award-winning television journalist based in Illinois. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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