‘Would you take a second baby?’ Two babies? I had ZERO control over the system. We said yes.’: Mom of 6 details infertility, foster care journey, ‘It’s our honor to love these children’

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“There’s a crazy outpouring of chaos which comes with raising six children, homeschooling all of them, and navigating the hard and emotional aspects of foster care and adoption. It’s chaos! But I see it as beautiful chaos. Every day there are new challenges, usually some tears, and the difficult feeling of the unknown. Even though there are many days I feel like I cannot do this anymore, I am always strengthened by God’s work, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It wasn’t always like this, though.

After marrying the love of my life, the fourth year of infertility went by. Both my body and my spirit were feeling crushed and weary. Four doctors, four diagnoses, but zero babies. I felt defeated and remember crying out to God for just one baby. Until one unusual morning when I felt different. Everything felt completely off, and nothing in my body was acting like it should. Could it be? Is it what I think it is? Would this be the day I see a positive test? I rushed to the store and bought a hand full of pregnancy tests. Sure enough, two pink lines showed up.

Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts

Three months later I waited on an ultrasound table, so excited to hear how our baby was doing. It was a feeling I will never forget. Then, the walls seemed to start closing in on me while I listened to the doctor say, ‘I’m so sorry sweetie, but there is no longer a heartbeat.’ Heartbroken, we grievingly continued to wait. We took a break from medication and chose to spend more time with each other and pray. As Christians, we believe in the power of prayer and the standing on God’s word. We prayed for babies, no matter how He would give them to us. Regardless of how sorrowful I felt, we believed God would come through.

And come through, He did! Our first daughter was born, and then our second daughter came, then our son, then another son! We were in awe of what was happening. God gave us abundantly more than we could ever have hoped or asked for. My heart was so thankful. Years after our fourth child arrived, I started feeling like something was missing. I would look at our family pictures and know there was someone missing. A deep yearning came over me for another child. Having gone through the hard journey of infertility, I knew exactly what this yearning felt like. Hesitantly I sought options out, but since my doctor instructed me not to get pregnant again due to complications from my last delivery and a hip injury, we strongly started to discuss foster care.

Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts

This process was not something that came lightly. The discussion turned into hours of training, which turned into a ton of paperwork and meetings, which amazingly turned into us becoming licensed foster parents. After weeks and months of learning about children’s aid, the ‘foster care world’ gripped my heart like nothing I had ever experienced before. Child welfare, trauma, foster care, and adoption is all sitting under our noses, and most of us don’t even know the depth of this tragedy.

Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts

That rainy and cold evening our first foster child came to us will forever be ingrained in my mind. He was so tiny I could barely see him through the blankets, but I’ll never forget the moment I looked at this precious, helpless human, and then to learn of all he had experienced in his life so far… it broke me to the core. The next year was a roller coaster of dealing with a system I have zero control in and the shocking news his sibling was arriving soon. ‘Would you be willing to take in the second baby?’ We were asked three times by our workers, and each time we were shocked by what was happening. Two babies, born in the same year, and no real permanency plan in sight.

Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts

It took us a very long time to reply, months really. After a lot of prayer and thinking about what was best for both of them, we said yes to our sixth child. That was the most hectic and sleepless year I have ever had. Everyone in our home was on board. Our four biological children have been outstanding in sharing their time, love, parents, and space. Adding our sixth also meant a complete house overhaul. We built an addition onto our home and some of the children moved rooms to share with their siblings. Even today, we still do not all fit in one vehicle. Our decision did not come without sacrifice, and we have come together as a team to love these babes—it’s something we will never regret.

Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts
Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts

Our job is to love, heal, care for, and attach to these children as our own until reunification happens, or a permanency plan is secured for their future. Reunification wasn’t an option in our case, and we are the only family our babies have ever known, therefore, we said yes to adopting them. Although we’ve hit some roadblocks in our process of adopting, we are praying and
believing they will stay with us forever—so we wait. Ultimately, just like the last three years, we rely on God because He is the one in control. Just as we prayed years ago for a baby from infertility and God came through—we KNOW He will do the same now.

Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts

As difficult as foster care is, it is also full of rich joy! And though we do not know what the future holds, it is our honor to love on and be a safe place for these children. We will keep being faithful and continue to give ourselves for the sake of a child. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. Whatever happens in the future, foster care will always have my heart.”

Courtesy of Kaitlyn Regts

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kaitlyn Regts of Ontario, Canada. You can follow their journey on Instagram and their blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more stories like this:

‘Stay with me!’ My body was septic. I’d never carry our child. ‘There’s a baby at the hospital. Do you want him?’: After losses, couple foster to adopt, ‘He’s the redemption to our pain’

‘Did he think we abandoned him?’ I was still grieving. He hardly slept day or night. I struggled to feel connection.’: Couple foster to adopt, ‘If you don’t get attached, you’re doing it wrong’

‘The ministry called. ‘We have a boy and a girl. Would you be open to adopting two children?’ WHAT? Could this be real?! We were moved to tears.’: After 11 miscarriages, failed surrogacy, couple adopt 2 kids from foster care

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